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It all mattered.

It all held a level of significance.

It all molded you.

 

Not all of it remains.

Not all of it should be cultivated.

Not all of it carries forth with you.

 

Today I came face-to-face with my reality.

And, I fancied it.

We’d known each other before we knew ourselves.

 

As we set side by side, we knew each other still.

She had been my childhood best friend.

Back before Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat.

Back when we exchanged weekly if not daily handwritten letters.

Letters I still have in my mother’s attic.

We separated not because of a disagreement, but due to emotional distance created by unspoken truths.

 

Haunted by the same secret we went our separate ways.

A secret that changed us without changing us.

Our secret no longer secret.

Our mutual truth no longer remains hidden.

There has been too much living to ever die again.

 

Few people have held her spot.

Mostly, because they never got the shot.

 

Reminensencing she brought it up, my adolescent reaction.

Her adolescent response.

Not to the truth, but to the omission.

Even now, it lingers.

She says, it severely impacted her formative years until her son appeared.

 

The reminder as we sat in the Central Jury room humbled me.

Our adolescent attempts at self-expression showed our ineptness.

Hurt turned into acting out.

And acting out metamorphosis into unforeseen consequences.

 

We have seen each other a few times since then.

But little did we know, the lives we then lived would soon come undone.

A twenty-nine-year friendship almost died, because of the truth we could no longer hide.

 

No more secrets.

No more excuses.

No more reasons to remain reclusive.

 

All the misinterpretations now clarified.

I am reminded why clarity is so important.

Fearful of a truth we both shared because we feared what the truth might shed.

 

It all mattered.

It all held a level of significance.

It all molded us.

 

Not all of it remains.

Not all of it should be cultivated.

Not all of it carries forth with us.

 

But we now know,

No more secrets.

No more excuses.

No more reasons to remain reclusive.

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The  “Day 338: Fractured Truth: A Twenty-Nine-Year Journey” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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Day 338: Fractured Truth: A Twenty-Nine-Year Journey