Confession Moment

A Personal Reflection: SCOTUS 6/24 Decision

/ EYHCS

I accurately predicted that June would be a bustling month during a local connect meeting, and it has certainly lived up to that expectation. The month has been filled with various events, including festivities for Pride, honoring Juneteenth, and an enlightening conversation with the Grandmother of Juneteenth on June 14th. The list of activities has continued to grow, showcasing our community’s endless opportunities for connection and celebration.

While working on this month’s content, I need to clarify something. Although I discussed completed initiatives from a professional standpoint, the opinions and statements expressed are solely my own. It’s important to note that I have multiple roles, and in this instance, I am writing from my personal perspective, taking into account my intersecting identities.

I paused because I had intended to write a different post, but circumstances compelled me to write this one for this moment. You see, I love to write. Writing is very therapeutic and revealing. Through writing, I often lift the veil on lingering thoughts I have pushed to the side for one reason or another. This brings me to one of those lingering thoughts.

As I ascended below The Statue of Liberty on Liberty Island, my first of several stops on my scheduled excursion in New York City this past Friday, the news from SCOTUS broke. 196 steps to the top of the Pedestal, my travel champion spoke somberly, “It’s Official. The Supreme Court has overturned Roe v. Wade.” My heart sank as a Native Texan, as an American, as a woman, and as a human who cares for others. Not because I support abortions. I don’t know for many personal reasons, including my religious beliefs, but those are mine alone. My views should never usurp the opinions of others on matters affecting their health and/or life. On Friday, June 24th, SCOTUS knowingly did just that in more than a 3rd of the country due to the “trigger laws” in effect.

As I reached the marker for 67 steps to go, I lamented at the sheer irony of our current climate in America with shrinking liberties in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. Standing beneath Lady Liberty, I was not surprised, but still, I felt just a little gutted. Lady Liberty was a gift and a promise. A promise codified in our Constitution at a time when my intersectionality would have deemed me “not a person” and “without rights”. A promise through our preparation to host Dr. Opal Lee was solidified by why Juneteenth is so important in the history of America. On a personal level, I had struggled with the holiday until Dr. Lee spoke on the effects the movement created for the enslaved people in Texas. A reminder of the past, but more importantly, a hope for the future and “a celebration of liberation with the freedom to live, to marry, to have and keep our children from being sold, to travel, and so much more”, Dr. Opal Lee. A promise Justice Thomas threatens with his concurring opinion. The match has been lit, it is my hope we the Republic put out the fire in November before we find The Handmaid’s Tale a reality. Because, “I have to tell you, NONE of us are FREE until all of us are FREE”, Dr. Opal Lee.


After climbing 26 steps to the top, I felt a sense of pride. With the guidance of my ancestors, I was able to reach the peak. It was even more fulfilling that my companion and I were the only ones in the stairwell, having chosen to skip the elevator. This accomplishment was especially significant because, just a year ago, I was too sick to even attempt it, and I’m not sure I could have made it to the elevator back then.

Many believe we cannot surmount the conflicting climate seeping into our global affairs.


I disagree. I am proof positive. That is a lie!

As a united society, we have demonstrated our resilience in combatting oppressive regimes and emerging victorious. I am pleased to announce that my employer has taken a significant step in promoting women’s health by expanding our health benefits to include travel expenses for individuals living in states where women are deprived of their right to make informed decisions regarding their bodies. While we recognize that no company is flawless, we are committed to enhancing individuals’ lives and creating a better world for all. These initiatives demonstrate our efforts in moving forward toward a more promising future. Let’s persist in working together and supporting one another.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2022 INCLUDING, BUT. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART, WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, EXCLUDING IMAGES WITHIN THIS POST UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD WHERE APPROPRIATE

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Confession Moment #10: An Artist Heart with a Personal Dilemma

/ EYHCS

How do you balance a public profile being a private person? I’m writing while I’m thinking, because the subject often comes up, especially, as a blog writer.

Often the stories, poems, and prose are not even about me. But sometimes they are. Other times they are about parts of me or the people I see if that makes sense. Whatever the true subject or objective, the words used to express or describe are indeed mine. So, however, I dress it up, essentially, they are subjectively about something connected to me.

On a personal note, I keep everything close to the vest. I rarely disclose personal details about my life, my friends, my plans, or my family (directly). I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. If I do, then that means you’ve earned a level of trust somewhere in my mind and heart. A level that says similar to how I treat those who share their lives with me, you’re not going to go and shout what I say from the mountaintop. I cherish these relationships because they are difficult to find and hard to keep.

I’d liked to say this originated when I first heard the story of Zachariah in Bible school pre-adolescent, and subconsciously, it may have. However, I’m not convinced that’s true.

I’ve watched people over the years and in watching them, I’ve learned a great deal about boundaries. Everyone’s boundaries are different and I like to keep mine like a fortress at times, if not all the time. The problem I learned about living in a fortress is when you need help, it’s hard for help to find a way in. So the almighty and I struck a balance. He places people in my life I know I can trust and confirms their placement by their actions. It has been working thus far.

I’m sure I’ve been burned in the past, but that’s not what this is about. I am also an artist as I previously wrote earlier in this written dialogue currently happening in my head. And the craft of an artist is extremely public and often very personal. Whether the craft envelopes the artist’s personal challenges, triumphs, or something in between the content is almost always raw.

Thus my actual personal life, I like to keep personal and private. Not necessary a secret, but definitely private.

I had an encounter today with a friend girl of mine who innocently indirectly shared a personal component of my life on a public platform. She was only providing encouragement. Encouragement, I greatly appreciated. However, upon having a quick conversation she quickly understood and respected my wishes that I’d rather not have certain components of my life publicly discussed or commented on overtly. I am grateful for that and for her because others might have misinterpreted my call for discretion. And, turned a molehill into a mountain.

Said interaction brought me back to this confession moment. I regularly share my thoughts, experiences, and beliefs on an array of subjects on my blog and on my community Facebook page. I do so willingly and without reservation. Mainly, in hopes, it liberates someone secretly struggling with similar issues. If my transparency can save a life, provide hope, or simply let someone in the universe know they are not alone, then it’s worth it!

We live in a society where fear, shame, emotional distress, and emotional pain are bottled up until they blow up. So I write to let others know, they are indeed not alone, and most of what we battle are temporary distractions. If my public artist heart can save one soul then the open declarations are worth it every time.

Having said that, I was raised in the church. More specifically, I was raised in a church where every Sunday before communion the Pastor would call all those who had “sinned” during the week up to confess their sins one-by-one into the microphone, publicly, in accordance with our church doctrine before the entire church body. Sometimes these lines were ten to fifteen people deep. And, even after confessing their “sins”, they would each have to stand before the church before he prayed for them out loud about their specific “sin” before they were allowed to be seated.

This practice struck me as odd and invasive. Yet, for 18 years I watched the same people, week after week form a line down the right aisle waiting to be redeemed before as a church body, we could take communion. The practice troubled me, but it was tradition and it was not until years later I would experience something different, so I watched in silence week after week, month after month, and year after year until I was 18th and no longer required to attend church. Did my need for personal privacy stem from this, who knows? But, I do know I had my own silent struggles, I never felt comfortable sharing because of this practice and they followed me into adulthood.

So there was always an invisible shield on my internal thoughts for most of my life. I’m not saying I was muted but definitely guarded. And as luck would have it, for good reasons at times. So it’s rare and special when I really can be truly open on a personal level. I’m not harboring dark secrets. I just enjoy the sanctity of my personal life remaining personal.

Still seeking the right balance between publicly transparent and privately personal.

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“Confession Moment #10: An Artist Heart with a Personal Dilemma” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2018. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, AND IMAGES WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Confession Moment: Keeping it 100%

/ EYHCS

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I have not done one in this series for some time. Not sure if it is a matter of I have not needed to or I have not wanted to. In any respect, it does not really matter. The point is I have a confession. Not a deep dark confession, just a confession about something a friend and I have been conversing about of late.

The year is 2016. It has been a great year. I continue to reaffirm who I am with each new challenge, I find an opportunity.

Overall, I do not have many complaints. But then again, even in my darkest of hours, I rarely did.

Life is too short to spend it doing anything you do not want to do, unless, you have to do it in order to get where you want or need to be.

This particular mindset I began to harness a few years back has really supported my steps throughout 2016. I am eternally grateful for anyone and everyone who created or presented a situation where I had to challenge, defend, and sustain my personal identity of self.

With that being said, I recently entered the dating scene. Which brings me to the reason for this confession moment. I had two serious relationships in my life. Combined they span across two decades of my said life. I am not proud or ashamed of this fact. It is just a factual part of my history.

Others I have met have not been able to wrangle a few years into a single relationship, let alone a decade or two. This is not a slight or a commendation. It is just a factual part of their history.

Neither of us has a right to place judgment on the other’s choices. We do not know the other players (most of the time). We do not know what glued or severed the ties even when one of us expresses our side of our perspective lives. We just do not know, because in some cases our perspective is only as good as our knowledge on the matter {food for thought}.

But, we carry on in search of “the one” or in some cases “the ones”. Real talk, I have seen far more than I ever expected and lived far more than a part of me every wanted.  And, I have enjoyed it all.

Yet, there is a trend happening in the dating arena of 2016 that is truly blowing my mind. It is not the swapping of partners like we swap out dirty or wet socks. It is not the randomness of connectivity so many of choose to settle for in place of permanence. It is not the increase of sexually transmitted diseases for those in my age range at an alarming if not terrifying rate. If I am honest and reflectively look at history, none of these are new trends. In fact, they are a continuation of the old guard.

In fact, it is probably the number one reason so many couples actually settle or convince themselves the current one is the right one.

But a particular trend goes against my basic understanding of couplings of two individuals into one partnership. The station in-and-of-itself is not a station to be ashamed of. All of us at one time in our life have been there. But being there before instead of while during a relationship raises some serious questions about one’s priorities in life.

The station is unemployment or as the true wordsmith would say, “between jobs”. The result is the same. The station creates a situation where basic survival comes into question often, especially, in our moments of silence.. To be honest, for some of us on the other side of the line, it still comes into question every time we sit down to pay bills. But, my point is I am all for seeking joy, finding purpose, being open to whatever, or just looking for companionship. One should not be alone, unless, one chooses to be. However, being unemployed without any real source of income automatically raises the red flag.

Relationships require commitment. It is not always easy even when it is easy to let someone in or figuring someone out. For most of us, no matter how over it is with the last or how new it is to the next, we have been changed simply by the experience of someone else in our lives. I know I have.

Besides, all the emotions one experiences during a new relationship, imagine the compounding nature of such emotions with those one feels during the station of unemployment. Self-worth comes into question. Position in comparison to friends is present. The ability to provide for one’s children or family is also there. And, these are just a few of the soft internal battles hanging out in the station of unemployment.

Personally, if you do not have self together, why on Earth would you seek to bring someone else in on all that turmoil, anguish, and moments of desperation.

It is not just a matter of keeping it 100%. It is a matter of being 100%.

{Exhales}

EYHCS

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The  ”Confession Moment: Keeping it 100%” by EYHCS is under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

© EYHCS and the Latest Word, 2010-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, and images  unless otherwise stated are available for use, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and 15 Words or Less with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Day 1: An Interview with 2016 with a Cameo from 2010

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2016: Looking back over your life, what are you looking forward to in the New Year?

EYHCS: That is an excellent question. <Ponders the question with a reflective countenance>

2016: Do you have an excellent answer?

EYHCS: Yes. <Replies with a dead and stark countenance>

2016: <fully engaged with hips seated at the front of the lounge chair> Care to share?

EYHCS: <continuing to be display a coy demeanor> Sure.

EYHCS: Change, affirmation, and fulfillment of promises are what I am looking forward to in the New Year.

2016: Wow, you don’t shy away from the complex, do you? <Centers left hand across chests in a faux humble fashion>

EYHCS: Never have and never will.

2016: How would you characterize 2015?

EYHCS: At times it was akin to Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men with “You can’t handle the truth”. At other times it was akin to Rafiki from the Lion King with “Simba, he’s alive!” And, as the year drew to an close, it was Neo from the Matrix with, “I am going to hang up this phone and show the people what you don’t want them to see. The rest I leave up to you!”

2016: Any special resolutions for the New Year?

EYHCS: Not really. I am just grateful to be of sound mind and body after the last several years of testing and trying I have undergone.

2016: What type of testing and trying? How do you define testing and trying?

EYHCS: The simplest definition is the easiest definition. I have been tested mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and physiologically.

2010: I was there.

2016: How so?

2010: I saw it all unfold. Yet, I could not intervene. It was a battle required to define, affirm, and confirm her true character. I knew she could and would prevail. I just needed her to know the same.

EYHCS: It was hard at times. A lot of people look at me today and comment how together I seem. They don’t know how much it cost to not only appear this way, but to be this way.

2016: Cost?

EYHCS: Yes, the spiritual and mental cost. The breaking of beliefs to conquer one’s greatest fear is an enlightening and painful process. I mimicked the way Jesus’ survived and prevailed during his 40 days and nights of testing. Everything he needed to defeat external and internal enemies had already been deposited into him. So with private tears and public cheers, I marched on, until I could march out.

2016: Do you feel you’ve conquered your greatest fear?

EYHCS: Most days, I do.

2016: Willing to share it with others.

EYHCS: I feared disappointment.

2016: Disappointment?

EYHCS: Yes, disappointment. Disappointing others, disappointing myself, disappointing my ancestors <unrealistic>, disappointing my parents, and if I am honest, the disappointment of never being enough.

2016: What changed?

EYHCS: I watched my former self battle to regain control of the uncontrollable and win.

2016: How did that feel?

EYHCS: Good, no great! When the enemy saw me cower, the spirit saw me tower.

I watched mesmerized at times as obstacles became pathways. I silently praised in place as promises, visions, and dreams manifested around me and for me. I bit my tongue when necessary and raised my voice when required. I feel in love with me and I liked it! I hadn’t ever been in love with me before 2015, not really, but today I am and it’s great!

2016: Sounds like you figured some things out.

EYHCS: Some, but I have only scratched the surface.

2016: Any regrets?

EYHCS: No, this year was all about clearing up old regrets and living a life that produced no future regrets.

2016: How’s that?

EYHCS: I had to sacrifice my personal self to honor my spiritual-self several times in 2015. At times, I had to confront those who only sought the best for me, but couldn’t understand the choices I was making in how I dealt with certain situations.

2016: That sounds deep.

EYHCS: It is, but the deeper it got, the clearer it all became.

2016: Has anyone ever told you, sometimes your responses produced more questions than answers?

EYHCS: Yes.

2016: Care to add any more to that response?

EYHCS: No.

2016: Well, we’re day one in of 366 days. Care to share your plan for 2016?

EYHCS: Tried that once, the human mind could not comprehend the design.

EYHCS: So instead, in the words of one of my favorite characters, “where we’re going we don’t need any roads”!

2016: I can’t wait!

EYHCS: You don’t have to. You already know what is in store. I am the one who gets to discover it. Thank you for joining me in the journey.

2016: You’re welcome and thanks for sharing, EYHCS, it was a pleasure talking with you. Take care and see you on the other side.

EYHCS: Indeed, I pray you will {Insha’Allah}! One God, many names, and I love them all!!!

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The  ”Day 1: An Interview with 2016 with a Cameo from 2010” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. 

Confession Moment #9: The Audacity of Public Officials

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As I wrote last month, my creative juices were in a state of flux and frustration.  In retrospect, I needed time to simply sit under the Tree of Life and listen to the messages flowing from my heart.  There have been some new insights, some new valleys, some new mountains, some new hopes, some new dreams, and some new realities.  Some of it blows my mind.  Some of it warms my heart.  Most of it provides the needed strength to carry on in my quest to understand the will of God on and over my Earthly and temporal life.  Not since 2010, has God been so real to me as he is now.  Back then, I wrote my thoughts out privately only to learned publicly so many others shared the same thoughts.  The unspoken understanding of my connections with and to the Body of Christ continually astonishes me.  If I am honest, my understanding of the power of God exists on different planes of understanding and knowing.

For this reason, I am practicing my teachings and lessons learned.  I adhere now to one of the greatest lessons my spiritual teachers deposited into my spirit throughout my life-cycle. The Word of God, should never be rushed or purposefully revealed until complete.  Relationships die, otherwise.  Spiritual growth dies, otherwise.  Healing takes a backseat, otherwise.  There is much I have to say, but only when God lifts the flood gates.  All of it reflects, holds true, and manifests through my daily encounters with God’s children more and more each day.

In the meantime, expect more posts on my continued struggle, adjustment, and full acceptance of the call on my life as I grappled with my inheritance of a spiritual mind. I openly declare, “I am grateful for and humbled by the experience”.

For now, I am sharing a post I posted on my personal Facebook page earlier this week.

 

 

Today’s confession moment centers around my early voting experience this past Monday.

Today, I took part in the general election voting cycle for early voters. There is an interesting request of our city officials. They are requesting a raise in income. Specifically, for all current and future councilmembers they are seeking a bump in salary to $60,000 a year.

In addition, the proposition includes a request for future mayors of the City of Dallas to $80,000 a year, in the event, they are elected while holding another City of Dallas office.

Proposition No. 8. reads as follows:

Increasing Compensation for the Mayor and Councilmembers. Shall Chapter III, Section 4(a) of the Dallas City Charter be amended to increase compensation for councilmembers to $60,000, effective upon the swearing-in of city council members in June 2015, and for the mayor to $80,000, effective upon the swearing-in as mayor of a person who did not hold the office of mayor on November 4, 2014?

Initially, I felt a slight rage growing in my belly. For one, the proposition is 8 or 9. If you are bold enough to ask for a 60 percent increase in salary at least be bold enough to put it in plain sight and not at the end of the ballot. Especially, considering the average corporation will only offer you a 1% to 5% annual merit increase assuming they are unable to find a justifiable exclusionary excuse to honor their standing policies on the meager raise that is.

The minimum wage for the average citizen of Dallas County is $7.25 per hour or $15,080 per year. Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins proposed an increase for contract employees employed by the City of Dallas back on March 24, 2014 of this year. The proposed pay rate was $10.25 per hour or $21,320 per year. I recognize the proposed increase, still misses the mark. Many would still fall beneath the true poverty lines set by U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Here is a current poverty base line list as of January 24, 2013 available on DHHS’ website: 1 person = $11,670; 2 people = $15,730; 3 people = 19,790; 4 people = 23,850; 5 people = $27,910; 5 people $27,910; 6 people $31,970; 7 people = $36,030; 8 people = $40,090, and for each household-member over eight the DHHS recommends you add $4,060.

I didn’t see an increase for the average City of Dallas resident on the ballot.

Hmm…

Bear with me for a minute with the math. Let’s suppose for a minute the average family is 4 people. Each family member of the starving family of 4 has $5,962.50 to live on throughout the year or $496.86 a month. If they pool their money together for an average 2 bedroom apartment according to the allowed amount under Section 8’s Rental Certificate Model their rent will be $800 per month, but their model includes utilities in the rental calculation of $800 a month, which most apartments do not provide as part of their rental agreement. Let’s continue the same level of generosity as DHHS. We will assume the unnamed family of 4 can procure electricity, phone service, water/sewer service, and rental insurance for $400 a month.  Before they even consider food, a family car, or public transportation costs their monthly expenses for rent and utilities are at $1,200 a month. Now each family member has $196.88 dollars for the month. Which takes priority? Food, clothing, transportation, health insurance, or none of the above

Don’t judge the one’s looking for a numbing effect with alcohol or drugs. After all, it is about all they can afford to cope with their harsh realities, because not everyone believes in God anymore. His methods and teachings rarely surface anymore in governments or politics unless the sayer is attempted to constrain the rights of the people.

Currently, Dallas Councilmembers receive a salary of $37,500 per year. However, most councilmembers have other sources of income earning 3 or 4 times their meager City of Dallas salary. Let’s continue our mindset of generosity in our calculations for a moment as DHHS is with the mass populace. Suppose the average councilmember only manages to double their City of Dallas salary to $75,000 per year. The same councilmembers’ family of 4 receives $18,750 per year or $1,562.50 each month.

The basic difference: the average City of Dallas councilmember receives $12,787.50 more per year per family member than the average City of Dallas resident. By the way, research the last 4 or 5 years of corrupt politicians in the City of Dallas. $75,000 is a low ball figure.

My point in all of this is an insurmountable level of audacity of our public officials, in light of the current state of our economy for any self-respecting City of Dallas Councilmember to propose a wage hike without at least putting forth a similar proposition for the least of us. And, please do not be fooled by Proposition No. 4 my fellow same gender loving family, friends, and Face bookies. We are already a federally protected class after the Supreme Court decision of 2013. Stop waving carrots and calling them lobster.

I am utterly offended, because many unsuspected voters will vote for the proposition while they debate a $1.00 cheeseburger from McDonald’s or a 10 piece chicken nuggets from Burger King for $1.49. Some of us believe the reference to the blind refers to a spiritual blindness. Not true, sometimes we are civically blind. Voting for Proposition No. 8 while in financial poverty makes you civically blind and spiritually deficient for your fellow-man, woman, and child. Yes, I said it and I meant every word.

I am through.

Stay blessed and alert.

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The  ”Confession Moment#9: The Audacity of Public Officials” (text) by EYHCS licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at Indulgy.com (image only).
©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 256 – Gratitude

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I once asked, if you have ever had an experience with God before I fully comprehended what an experience with God entailed.  Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I foresee it being anything like the experience I have been blessed to live out.  Here is the final thought I wrote as I left my missionary adventure in Beijing, China.  Enjoy!

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2011/08/08

Today marks the final day of the 33 days adventure in Beijing, China.  It has been over a day since I slept, but exhaustion cannot find me in this moment.  The people I met have made deposits and withdrawals.  Yet, time will lay out the final balance.  In this moment, I simply wholeheartedly pour out my love and admiration on you Lord.  Thank you for the experience and thanks for keeping me.

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The  ”Day 256 – Gratitude ” (text) by EYHCS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at Indulgy.com (image only).
©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Confession Moment #8: A Post Like No Other – My Heart is Heavy

/ EYHCS

My heart is heavy, today.  I initially wanted to write my typical reflective thought post generated  by a beautiful photo I plucked from Indulgy.  I wanted to deliver solace for my own troubled soul.  I wanted to write a post for the brokenness I see in the world spewed across the news channels everyday.  I wanted to write a post for the deceitful intentions of others, I have experienced in my very short life on this Earth.  I wanted to write a post for the pain of all those who suffer in silence daily, as I have in the past and to let them know it really does get better.

I wanted to write a post for everyone dealing with the realization we live in a society where children go hungry daily while society blames their parents for living below the poverty line; where we can send several groups of soldiers to war, but cannot raise the minimum wage to a living wage; where politician grow richer and the poor grow poorer; where families are being destroyed for foolish reasons or stupid decisions; where color-focused police officers pull single black mothers out of their car  in the dark hours of the night with their terrified children in tow, because, after all, we all look alike, even when we do not; where Latinos are being excluded from the all-inclusive America, because they were born on the wrong side of the border; where every few decades we find ourselves fighting another civil rights battle (Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Polish, Indians, African Americans (Blacks), Hispanics, gays, lesbians, bi-sexual, transgender); where the uneducated are marginalized even more than their ancestors were, creating a circular system of poverty (slaves, migrant workers, working class); where the educated are becoming the new poverty class (student loan debt) and unable to find those jobs promised to them as they continually signed their life away each semester; where the total breakdown of our society seems to go unnoticed by far too many people; where another black dead face on the news at the hands of an official or frighten civilian is no longer news, but a sad expectation for other black faces; where we speak of Jesus and then act as Barnabas; where we spend more time on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or Twitter than contemplating our civic duties as Americans of these Great United States; where our minds are so convoluted the truth is difficult to ascertain even when faced with the hard reality we got it all wrong; where I am so disgusted with the placating mindset of our society, I could not write one of those truly colorful, thought provoking, rosy, or uber-spiritual post, even if my God would allow it.

I really wanted to write that post today.  I wanted to write that post, because at my core, my God created me to speak, enlighten, encourage, provide solace, and live out his life on Earth as he prescribed long before land separated from water.  God knows I wanted to write such a post today.  God knows if I were not so utterly disgusted with a Godly people acting so ungodly, I could have written such a post.  It hurts my heart to write so brutally today.  For those who know me, have known me, who will know me, who have experienced my friendship, my warm smile, or my laughter will understand more than anyone else how much this post pains me.  It pains me, because it requires I step out of my overly optimistic worldview and into the world I see, today.

While this particular post is darker in nature than anything I have ever written for the public eye, it is the Truth I see.  I am simply tired of seeing the same stories, conversations, and total lack of concern for our fellow man, woman, and child.  My writing is therapeutic and the writer in me would not remain silent.   It helps me prepare to run the race another day. After so much needed time with God after work this morning, he reminded me of the journey God has taken me on, specifically over the last four or five years.  I am grateful for the new eyesight.  I am grateful for the silent prayers you sent my way.  I am grateful for the helping hand you offered even when I was too raw to receive it.  I am eternally grateful, because on my balcony this morning, God showed me, “he really does know the plan he has prepared for me and his plan is perfect, his plan is not meant to harm me, his plan is meant to rise up a nation of people brave enough to write such a post their former self would have never written, out of fear of exposure”.

For those of you in the battle of your life, remember, rather you believe in God or not, someone or something kept you from the fate your choices or actions should have brought death upon you, instead of life.

Be kind to each other, we never know when the person we throw stones at might be the same person God sent to help you out of a situation you had no business being in, in the first place.  Be kind to each other, because we do live in a country rich in history of people fighting for one another across all lines.  Be kind to each other, because someone was kind to you when you least deserved it.  Be kind to each other, because no matter how much money and power you have today, it could all be gone tomorrow, and what would you have, but each other.  Simply be kind to each other.

I close this confession moment with a poem I wrote during my stint in Beijing, China on 2011/07/30.

A Moment of Reflection

A period of redirection

Living in a world of change

Living on an unknown range

I felt a close hand on my shoulder

I felt my spirit grow older

Wishing for a human caress

Wishing for God to give me rest

A journey revived

A path of hope against the divide

I knew the story would end

I knew my fate would end

Yet to walk in your shoes of love

The answer must come from above.

I walked out of captivity with arms stretched out wide

The sky opened up as heaven’s charms rolled down to shower me in its tide

Thank you for a word from the wise

Knowing you saw through the lies.

The beauty of your broke through

The enigma making my reality true.

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Confession Moment #7: Where I Am Today

/ EYHCS

Okay, so, I spent minimal time on the social sphere this weekend.  I actually went out and enjoyed the great weather in Texas.  This morning, I perused my Home Feed in Facebook and found this post: I am a Christian

Awhile back during a conversation about my weekend, I had the tedious coming out story, which occurs every time I meet someone new.  You know, “So, what are your plans for the weekend?” Do I remain elusive that ‘he’ is really a ‘she’?  Do I simply say, ‘nothing, really, you?”  This was over a year ago.

My response: Me and my partner are going for dinner and then maybe a movie.

Friend: {Brief silence} ‘You’re partner?”

My response: Yep.

Her response: That’s cool.

Slightly uncomfortable for moment and then we returned to normal.  Personally, I demise this conversation.  I do not have to ‘come out’ black or as a ‘woman’ everything I meet someone new.  But, that is an entirely different Confession Moment.

I move on.

After we became Facebook friends I realized we possessed different viewpoints on almost everything, but that is the cool thing about having different perspectives.  I do not have to accept the views of my right-minded friends and  they do not have to accept my left slanted view for us to have a friendship .  However, the above post infuriated me beyond words.  I took a break to cool down.  I am constantly addressing seeing through the eyes of others before making judgment calls about someone. I put my words into action.  Instead of attacking her publicly on Facebook, I simply posted the following post to my status page.  It is possible and even likely her post was  not directed to my many posts in support of the mislabeled “gay marriage agenda” happening in the WORLD {holds her tongue}! I digress.

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. ~D. H. Lawrence

Feeling sorry and being pissed off are not the same.  I am just a little p.o’d at the moment. The rest of the poem goes on to speak of the bird chewing off its’ own arm to free himself if necessary (side note, this part came from the movie G. I. Jane).  That is where I am today.

I write this from a place of love stored within my heart.

The Spirit of Homosexuality is a conundrum I do not understand.  Can anyone point me to the scripture in the text, where Jesus discusses the ‘Spirit of Homosexuality’?  This is a rhetorical question.  However, if the Holy Spirit enlightens you to a particular scripture, please engage!

As Christians, we assign spiritual names to words without having fully engaged in the etymology of the word.  I challenge anyone battling or battling against the Spirit of Homosexuality to do an etymology of the word in scripture, other reference books, and documents.  We can talk afterwards.  The Spirit within me rises up to defeat the elusive dismal of God’s children with a resounding, no more!

We are no longer Greek or Gentile, as we each have a branch on the Tree of Life.  Only God can rip or stitch, his children from the Tree of Life.  Thus, all the riches of Christ flow down and in each of us.  I am simply in a place of no more!  If Christ makes no distinguishment between gay or straight, why have we taken up the cross to revoke the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause under the United States constitution?  The last time I checked support of an amendment held little sway in the validity of the amendment.  Otherwise, the LBGTQ community could forego paying yearly income taxes.  It would be fitting, if I do say so myself.

Here is one book suggestion to consider for further research on homosexuality in Christianity:  http://www.amazon.com/Gays-Under-Grace-Christians-Homosexuality/dp/1555233015

I dare you!

Confession Moment #6: New Goal

/ EYHCS

Whisper

New Goal: Live my life worthy of the whispers.

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Confession Moment #5: If They Only Had a Brain

/ EYHCS / 2 Comments

Mad II

Watching the news, listening to media, or just talking to some people makes me think… the Wizard of OZ was on to something.

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The  ”If They Only Had a Brain” (text) by EYHCS is under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at Indulgy.com (image only).

© EYHCS and the Latest Word, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, and images  unless otherwise stated are available for use, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and 15 Words or Less with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Confession Moment #4: History

/ EYHCS

Black Beauty

Why are we so focused on making history?

Just do the work!

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© EYHCS and the Latest Word, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, and images  unless otherwise stated are available for use, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and 15 Words or Less with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Confession Moment #3 My Thoughts (Ranting): Father of Michael Sam Says NY Times ‘Twisted’ His Words | Nightcap

/ EYHCS

Pic from Nightcap on an editorial by Selena HernandezAll Rights Reserved of the original content owner for the image used in this post of Michael Sam’s father.  Link to the original post follows below: Father of Michael Sam Says NY Times ‘Twisted’ His Words | Nightcap.

Link to story here: http://nightcaptv.com/2014/02/12/father-of-michael-sam-says-ny-times-twisted-his-words/#axzz2tDlcWsma

Nightcap Blog post: http://nightcaptv.com/2014/02/12/father-of-michael-sam-says-ny-times-twisted-his-words/

©EYHCS and 15 Words or Less, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to Confession Moments, Holy Spirit Confession Moments, and 15 Words or Less quotes, YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, images that are the courtesy of Indulgy.com within posts unless otherwise stated may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS, 15 Words or Less, and Indulgy (where appropriate) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  Feel free to pingback without prior approval.

I need to be honest.  If I am to grow into who I am called to be then living outwardly and openly is my key to Freedom and the path to my rewards no man can bestow. 

As a woman, who has been in a living and loving 14-year relationship with the love of my life, holds breath for a long time, did not want to be labeled different.   By the way, that still has not changed, the inability for some people to expand their thinking outside of their tradition socialization of unproven theories can be challenging even for the star quarterback (I know he’s not a QB, btw – just an analogy). This is Texas after all, football terms are a commonality most of us can agree on, most.  

My understanding of the Creator’s omnipotent forethought allows me to recognize it is in my differentness, I am uniquely crafted for a specific purpose. More on that another day.  

This is my substantive rant on the ubiquitous dialogue happening around the water cooler, in the elevator, throughout a myriad of social media platforms, and on every news station we have here at work.  Really, this is quote newsworthy un-quote!  Indoctrinating a culture to feed on itself, that is news! This, this is overrated and overdone for me!

Now, I love my football, and when the story released, I must have asked four or five times, “…but, is he any good!” among the chatter of “is the NFL ready”.  I don’t know about you, but I keep hearing and seeing confirmation in the universe of the same, “it doesn’t matter if you are ready … get ready, because some things have got to move!” *hands suitcases over, you know what to pack and what to leave behind*

Why are so many of us (universally) condemning a man for his inner thoughts?  I imagine most parents at that moment of preconception think, just let them be “perfect”.  Somehow, hoping this will shield them from a world of hurt, when in actuality whether you are perceived as perfect or imperfect, the hurt will come, just packaged differently for who you are and what you must overcome to reach who you are created to live out.

While my mother loves me, I know it breaks her heart to know, my brothers have it easier. Even if, in their easiness, they suffer more for being a part of a normalized view of ordained relationships.  It is in these moments that I think, sometimes out loud and sometimes inwardly, “who do I follow that during their time, were also perceived as abstract to a normal depiction of who the universe believed they should be or would be”.

Though, I be lifted up, I am with you always even unto the ends of the Earth.   I will rest with you.  I will comfort you.  I will give you peace in the midst of the storm.  Better yet, there’s even greater news than all I’ve told you before, you can achieve transfer of the same power according to your faith, because it came amidst the absent of my physical interaction with you.

Perhaps, what we should be questioning is, ‘what are we contributing to the universe that causes others to fear for the safety of those they brought into being?”

Conviction should always be internalized before dishing it out externally.

Confession Moment #2: I Object Your Honor, I Need a Side Bar.

/ EYHCS

Jes_us 4

Your honor, I request new council.  

§

§

§

My attorney and I have irreconcilable difference.

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The  ”Confession Moment #2: I Object Your Honor, I Need a Side Bar.” by EYHCS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
©EYHCS and 15 Words or Less, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, images that are the courtesy of Indulgy.com within posts unless otherwise stated may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and 15 Words or Less with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Day 34 – Confession Moment: Some Days I Feel Like Morpheus

/ EYHCS / 2 Comments

Free_Your_Mind_II

Take the blue pill and free your mind.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Drink the Kool-Aid and forget this conversation.

 

 

 

 

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The  ”Confession Moment: Some Days I Feel Like Morpheus” by EYHCS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
©EYHCS and 15 Words or Less, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, images that are the courtesy of Indulgy.com within posts unless otherwise stated may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and 15 Words or Less with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.