Day 227: Reflection – The One Year Anniversary of My Would Be Death!


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I have not written in some time. I have wanted to, but could not find the inspiration. I woke up this morning to a revelation. I almost died last year on this day. I recalled the moment I felt myself falling to the floor in the bathroom stall at work. I recalled the first time, I ever felt real fear. I recalled the first time in my life, I was truly afraid. I was unable to think. I was unable to process. I was in, complete and total pain. I awoke on the bathroom stall.

Throughout this day, it has been on the forefront of my mind. Throughout the day, I have thought of little else. Throughout the day, I have remembered how God saved me. Throughout the day, I have thought about how I shared so little about the experience or the experiences since the post that follows, which is an excerpt from my book I wrote in 2010.

I would like to say, it was eye opening. I would like to say, it was something I never expected. I would like to say, so much. But, there is so much that has transpired that mere words would not fully do it justice.

Yet, I feel better than I ever have. I feel like myself again. I feel alive. I feel hopeful. I feel free. I feel grateful. I released so much negativity today that had been strangling me for so long. I opened up and let the truth speak for itself. I held no punches. I held nothing in reserve. I simply told the truth.

I wrote about a journey, and God saw fit to not only deliver it, but see me through it.

In one-week’s time, I will be in my own place for the first time in fifteen years. I am excited.

I have been through the wringer. Yet, I do not look like what came at me. I do not look like what I lived with. I do not look like what I had hanging on my back or around my next. I look good. I feel good. And, by the grace of God, I am good!

And, ready for the next segment of my journey. I am completely and totally free from the tainted yoke and spirit that has hung around my very being for the last fifteen years.

Journeys

August 15, 2010

Many Journeys begin without even a clue of possibility or awareness a journey has even begun.  People wake up one day and walk out into the world to see two diverting paths.    It is your journey.

Down one path is a light of spectrum hope and renewal of life.  It appears to contain a sense of peace.  It appears to recognize the truth in life of this moment.  It appears to treat the journeymen as a welcomed addition.  It appears.    It is your journey.

Down the other path is a dark gloomy cloud road of silence.  It beckons the quite morning air.  It is a place where most look for God and find themselves.  It is a place opposite of what is expected when things are least expected.  It is, because he is, and we are who he called us to be.  It is your journey.

It is a journey of love, hope, joy, despair, prosperity, and much more than anyone one person could truly comprehend or undertake without a guiding force.  It is a journey meant to build character.  It is a journey meant to strengthen your mind.  It is a journey meant to fortify your body.  It is a journey meant to bring you into your destiny and out of your past.  It is a journey of where your dreams are realized and your hopes are fulfilled.  It is your journey.

In life we go through many journeys.  Some of them are pleasant.  Some of them of joyous until the bottom drops, the roof caves in, and the wall come tumbling down.  It is a life full of mystery and a heart full of missed chances and second time romances.  It is a place of peace in the midst of a storm and the place of joy in the day of celebration.  It is a journey you pray ends understanding the next one is set to begin.    It is your journey.

My life has been filled with many journeys.  Some have brought joy.  Many have held pain.  A few have been a part of you, a few a part of me, and a few a part of Dawn.  Yet, in them all I am what I could have never been without being tossed into the sea, so I could learn how to swim.  It is said only the strong survive.  I wonder if they understood this truth:

My strength is defined by my character.

My strength is recognized in my walk.

My strength is confirmed by my actions.

My strength is solidified by my beliefs.

My strength is renewed in each victory.

My strength is displayed in my features.

My strength is controlled by the Creator.

My strength is acknowledged by what you see and not what you hear.

My strength is me and it is a part of you, because each person we touch can either add too or subtract from what we are.  It is your journey.

Be careful in who you allow into your life.  In my journey I realized one thing that carries me through each day.  True strengthen comes from those closes to you who remain with you in spite of what they see or what they hear.  They become a part of your journey.  They become a part of you.  They become a part of me.  They become, because you are within me.  Yet, how do we define what is you and what is me.    It is your journey.

I stopped trusting in this last journey for a spell.  I stopped listening to outside influences for a time.  I stopped acknowledging misspoken truths and half spoken lies.  I listened with my heart.  I listened with my Spirit.  I listened with my mind.  I listened to the beat of the drum in my body and the sensation in my tongue.  I listened to anything, but everything.  I listened to who I wanted to be instead of who they stated I was not to become.  I simply listened.  He heard.  She responded.  They came through.  Who came out is still a work in progress, but I am enjoying the work and the steady growth coming through with it in each passing day.    It is your journey.

I have gone through life without a care.  I have learned to recognize why this matters and why you should care.  At every step you take a new person comes into your life.  They bring with them their own set of issues.  They bring with them their own set of historical challenges in life.  They either deposit something with you or take away from you.  Sometimes they do both.  It is your journey, but most are never taken alone.

This is my life.  I await my future.  I have brief thoughts of my past, but greater hope in my present, because my future holds the key to who God has prepared me, to be in spite of who I appeared as before.  I am his child, but I am also his fruit.  It is my journey, but I share the road if you are able to help carry the load.  It becomes our journey.

So riddle me this…if you began a journey alone and you find a team along the way, would you keep the fruit or keep the lessons.  I choose to keep who I am and what I learned from within by becoming close to my heart of who we are and who we should all be in you. It has become our journey, you, me, and us.

EYHCS

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Day 52: The Power Force of Understanding


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A great friend of mine commented yesterday about my absence from my blog of late, with a slightly dejected, solemn, and otherwise heartbroken-heartfelt disposition. I explained as best I could where I have been in my journey to speak and write the truth. I expressed my new found commitment to my craft. Some would call it a gift. Other would call it artistic expression. Whatever, it is, I respect it and have chosen this time to hone it. Because my friend’s need was real, I write this entry today.

This is for my powerful four! You each know exactly who you are and I love each of you beyond mere words. Your presence in my life has changed me forever and I look forward to all God has for each of us throughout the years.

This is also for those that follow my blog. I have a lot of material and when the time is right, I will share it all.

The road we travel is not unknown. The people we meet are not unforeseen. The connections we make are designed well in advance for the appointed time and place. Two years ago, we all imagine a different future than the one we find ourselves living today. Four years ago, we wondered how we would make it through. Six years ago, we prayed silently for relief. Eight years ago, we stood our ground in the God we love. Ten years ago, we wondered if this really would be the fate God dealt us.

Today, we are stronger. Today, we are wiser. Today, we are becoming exactly who God intended us to be. Today is a new day. Today is our day. Today let’s live it the only way we can…through love, by faith, and in humility.

EYHCS

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Day 1 – New Year’s Eve Greeting and Proclamation from EYHCS


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It is a new year today. A year has passed away. We have lost some important people in ourselves. There are people we began last year with who did not make it. Some died of natural causes. Some expired at the hands of another. Some simply faded away.

We have also gained some new people in our lives. While the new people will never replace the old ones, they are in our lives to help us through what is about to come next. Mourn the lost, but worship the living. You will need them in ways you cannot foresee, today.

For me, the year went by so fast I hardly had time to realize the changes happening in my life. It may have happened the same way for you. Regardless, of how the year turned out, we each can and will begin anew. We each can and should let go of the old. Put all the broken promises, all the dashed dreams, and all the misspoken words aside. Take the public and private pain from this past year, place them diligently in a brown box, pour lighter fuel on the contents, securely close the box, and set it afire. Watch it burn out and let it go.

We cannot go back and undo what has already happened. We can, however, make sure we operate in a manner so it never happens again. I wish each reader a glorious and prosperous awakening of all God has in store for you this 2015.

Happy 2015!

EYHCS

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The  ”Day 1 – New Year’s Eve Greeting and Proclamation from EYHCS” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2015. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 245 – My Life Journey with But God


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My life journey never came without pain.

My life journey never came without disrespect.

My life journey never came without doubt.

My life journey never came without broken promises.

My life journey never came without deceitful intentions.

My life journey never came without losing some people along the way.

My life journey never came without sorrow.

But God…

Gave gave me healing.

Gave me respect.

Gave me assurance.

Gave me a solid promise.

Gave me pure intentions.

Gave me new people.

Gave me hope.

Yes, God never forgets, but  God also never holds a grudge against the intrinsic fault of humanity.

Nor shall I.

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Day 243 – This Would Be the Year


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It was just yesterday, I celebrated the New Year.

It was just yesterday, I thought about how pregnant the New Year appeared.

It was just yesterday, I imagined a new beginning.

It was just yesterday, I surmised this would be the year.

The year for new promises fulfilled.

The year for new hopes realized.

The year for new challenges defeated.

The year for new opportunities revealed.

In just one year, it all came together.

In just one year, it all made sense.

In just one year, it all came full circle.

In just one year, the light came on, the stars shined, the moon glowed, and the Lord spoke. “this would be the year of promises fulfilled, of new hopes realized, of new challenges defeated, and of new opportunities revealed”.

And, then, he made it happen.

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THE  ”Day 243 – This Would Be the Year” (TEXT) BY EYHCS IS UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION-NONCOMMERCIAL-SHAREALIKE 4.0 INTERNATIONAL LICENSE.
BASED ON A WORK AT INDULGY.COM (IMAGE ONLY).
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HSCM: Segment 3 – My Evolving Experience with the Holy Spirit


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This is my story.  This is my experience.  This is beyond anything I could ever imagine or ever fully explain.  I have reread this account numerous times before publishing it on my blog for the world to see.  I did not set out to tell everything I have written.  I actually did not set out to tell this story, at all.  I sat out to tell the story of my fractured right foot, which occurred on August 15, 2014 at my place of employment.  The story has evolved into revealing some of my most closely held and some of my most inner private experiences with the Holy Spirit over the last five to seven years.  In order to tell it all, I would have to write a series of books.  I will save that for another day.

Once upon a time in a land far away, a young black woman sought out Christ. Her number one goal was to become Christlike.  She never fully grasped the totality of such a magnanimous goal.  All she knew was she wanted to have the full experience of being one with God.  Over the course of 38-years, God came to her in many forms, through many signs, and performed many wonders. With each passing experience, her faith grew stronger, her walk grew truer, and her belief in the one true God grew deeper.  This is a truncated version of that black girl’s  story as she began to experience the fullness of Christ.

It is not intended to be a persuasive story.  It is not intended to rewrite the logistical nature of religion as we know it.  It is simply the true story of one little black girl from Southeast Dallas, who became a strong, powerful, and black woman in Christ.

So I began…

Last Friday, I fractured my right foot.  I felt the need to write about it, but I was unclear about what to say or how much to share about the experience.  Even as I write now, I draw on the strength and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Where do I begin?  How do I begin?  What do I say?  These are all questions floating around in my head since the experience occurred.  I pray I deliver only what is necessary and only what is expedient to express the emotions going through my membrane in this moment.

I remember the glory of God being present very early on the morning of August 15, 2014.  I borrow the term ‘the glory of God’ from a book I have been reading for over seven years now.  I have never read the entire book.  In fact, I still have not.  The contents and concepts expressed in the book are so powerful it would be an injustice to not spend ample time digesting it as one would a five course-five star meal.  The book speaks to the levels of heaven, the power of God (glory of God) at the various levels, specific portals or spots known to see great moves of God, and our ability to tap into it all.

It all began with a conversation I had with a man of God at work.  We were discussing some pretty intense subjects.  The kind of subject forbidden in most workplaces and for good reason.  At some point, the conversation turned to religion.

{Silence}

Our conversation went like this:

“For someone with a literal view of the world or something to that effect I began.

{Questioning look appears across his face}

“I know you have a very literal interpretation of the Bible…” I continue.

“What do you mean by literal”, he replied.

“Well, we have had many conversations on this issue…” I replied.

He interrupted me, with his understanding of literal and figurative.  He references several books of the Bible, including Revelations and the four-headed horsemen.  “Well, of course, that is symbolism”, he concluded.

I asked another question, “Do you believe in the Holy Spirit living with you?”  I knew his answer; we have had this very discussion countless times.  He does not.

He confirms his belief and finishes off with, “God doesn’t say or mention anything about the Holy Spirit in the Bible.  There is no mention of it.”  He prepares to continue his defense for his hope.

{Now, I am the one with the perplexed look upon my face.}

I pause and inject, “Jesus does”.

He pauses.  {With a somewhat defensive look upon his face} I have his attention, I noticed.  I continue.

“Jesus, says in a passage, I do not recall the exact passage, but he is talking to the disciples and he says, ‘Thomas or Peter (I really cannot remember in the moment), do not be afraid for I go to be with the Father and because I go to be with the Father, I will send you a helper and that helper will usher you into all truth, all knowledge, and he will be with you always.”, I concluded.

He says, “But that doesn’t state he will live with me.  Being with me and living with me are not the same.  I see the Holy Spirit like air.  It is a force, but it doesn’t live with me.”

I pause again.  “What is your understanding of El or Emmanuel?” I quickly remove El and clarify my question with just Emmanuel only.

He relays a textbook definition of the word without any connection to the Spirit of the word.

I pause doing my best not to allow my personal beliefs to overshadow the moment.  I normally do at this stage of the conversation.  Slightly different than normal, I profess my belief emphatically.  “I believe the Holy Spirit lives with me.  The Holy Spirit guides me into all truth.  The Holy Spirit is my guide.  The Holy Spirit is my teacher.” I state.

It does not connect. I switch gears, take my headphones off and become fully engaged in the conversation.

“Do you believe the New Testament is a continuation of the Old Testament?  Again, the perplexed look rolls across his face.  This happens a lot when we talk.  I have become accustomed to having to reexamine my choice of terminology with this particular person.  I change approaches and expand my thought.

For example, some people believe the Old Testament is a historical text only.   These same people believe the New Testament ushered in a new covenant, which they live by today.  Some people believe the Old Testament is the Gospel and the New Testament text is a continuation of the Old Testament.  Some people believe the Old Testament has passed away and represents how God dealt with his people in the prior to the birth of Christ, but the New Testament ushered in a High Priest, a new covenant, and we are no longer required or expected to follow the Old Testaments rules and regulations.  These same people believe the greatest of these new commandments, “is love”, he finishes my statement.  {I nod}  Some people even believe the Holy Spirit exists, that we have an intimate and personal relationship with him, and that he lives with us. Before I can finish my thought…

He states, the Old Testament is a historical text, and the New Testament, beginning with the Gospels is the governing text for Christians today.  I find no disagreement here, but I also was not through with my statement.

I continued, “because of the fire and brimstone theology of some churches…”  I paused careful not to say traditional churches.  I have been working purposefully to stop fragmenting the Church more than it already is.

“Fire and brimstone”, he questions.

“Yes, fire and brimstone”, I replied.

“That’s not in the bible”, he states.

“True, it is not.  It is a term used by some to refer to an angry God spoken about from many pulpits, especially, in the South.  I grew-up in one of them”, I state.

“I’ve heard the phrase before, but wasn’t sure what it meant”, he continues.

“It refers to damnation for sin, for adultery, excessive drinking, the LGBT community…” I state before being cut-off.

Almost under his breath, “LGBT”, he questions with a smirk upon his countenance.

“Yes, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender”, I reply.

“Oh, they have a name for that or them now”, he replies.

“Yes, they always have”, I comment dryly behind gritted teeth.

We continue with the explanation of the term fire and brimstone.

I continue, “for the most part, it refers to scripture being taken out of context {clobber passages came to mind, but I decided against using the term – I credited it to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in the moment} and then used to beat a particular group of people or sinners over the head with the fear of the wrath of God’s eternal damnation if they don’t …”

He chimes in again, “See that’s the problem, people taking scripture out of context instead of reading it in context”. We agree here, but somehow the conversation wanes and I return to working on my task at hand.

It is smoke break time.  Outside, a co-worker comments about my knowledge of the Bible.  “You really know that Bible stuff.  I’ve never seen anyone shut-up or confuse him before when it comes to the Bible”, she finishes.  “I know it, because I lived it, I experienced it, I made it real for me”, I close.  “Yea, but you really, know it”, she states.  I do not find any pride in this fact.  I actually try to dispel her eagerness at my knowledge. Paul words to the Corinthians I believe it was comes to mind {Do not boast in yourself, if you must boast, boast in the Lord.  I confess now, while I have read the Bible many times, there are only a few scriptures I ever committed to memory with the actual scripture, chapter, and verse.  The rest I simply rely on the Holy Spirit to provide me in my time of need from that, which I already deposited during my studies.} I think on the greater price this moment of recognition has costed me before she departs.  As she walks away, I light-up my second cigarette to the backdrop of my night music mix of Gospel music.

A few hours later, back inside the building I really need a restroom break.  However, I choose this moment to bring my body into submission.  I really need to go to the restroom, though.  I have since the smoke break earlier.  It has been almost two hours since this sensation occurs to me, but I am focused on the task at hand.  We are on a deadline to finish our current workload before the next batch drops.  I am determined to finish.  I can no longer refrain, the please wait dance just fell flat and I arise.

It is here, I sought the voice of God the most before writing this blog.  Primarily, because it is here the next 30 – 45 minutes blur between the natural realm and the supernatural realm, for me.  It is here, I pause.  It is here I wonder how much is too much and how little is too little.  It is here I will lose some people, because the natural mind cannot correlate to what follows below.  It is here, my greatest experience with the glory of God occurs.  It is here the last five to seven years began to make sense for me.

I enter the restroom.  I complete my reason for being there.  Sharp pains began in my sides almost immediately.  They intensify.  They become so great I cannot bear to stand up.  I call on the strength of my healer.  With the help of the Holy Spirit, I manage to redress and stand-up.  It is here I wonder if this is my end and by end, I mean, am I dying. It feels like air is circulating throughout my entire body.  I feel nauseous.  I feel almost hollow.  It begins on the right-side of my body and moves throughout my human vessel.  I feel dizzy.  I believe I silently called out for help, maybe even salvation.  I couldn’t feel my heartbeat anymore.  I felt separated from my fleshly self.  I felt here and not here.  I closed my eyes to steady myself.  I registered for some reason, I have my hands in my pocket.  Immediately, the words of a prophet comes forth like it was yesterday.  It has been several years, he tells me to take my hands out of my pocket.   Obediently, I remove them from inside my pockets.  I place them flat on the outside of my pants with one thumb looped inside my pockets at each hip.

Eyes now closed, I stand with my back against the wall of the bathroom stall.  I imagine a balloon with the air being released.  This is how I feel in this moment.  I wonder if I am about to die on the second floor of my workplace building.  I wonder a lot of things in this moment.  I am afraid and not afraid.  It goes dark.

I awake, on the floor in a great deal of pain.  Where is it coming from?  It is no longer dark.  It is actually quite bright. Why do I see myself falling if I am already on the floor?  How do I see myself falling if I am already on the floor?  In this moment, it doesn’t matter.  There is an intense pain streaming from somewhere and I need to find the source of the pain immediately.  It is coming from my right foot.  My God, this hurts.  I look at my foot secured in my white leather Adidas sports shoe with a beige stripe down the toe.  I normally wear slip-on open black pumps, but the strap broke yesterday or at least I noticed it was broke yesterday.  It is amazing where the mind travels when in a state of shock.  I summon the strength to remove the shoe in both word and thought.  Thank God, the shoe is removed.  There is a lot of pain.  It is swollen.  It looks bad.

I lay there as the voice of the Holy Spirit speaks to me, consoles me, guides me, and cares for me in my time of need.  It is not the first time I have heard the voice , but in this state, I listen without objection.  Feet disappear and appear beneath the stall of the bathroom door.  I listen to my comforter in my brokenness.

“Do you need me to call security”, comes the voice on the other side of the locked bathroom stall door.  I pause.  My helper speaks, “Yes”.  The voice on the other side of the door speaks, “Yes”.  It feels like only seconds, but the head of security has now joined the faceless voice on the other side of the bathroom stall door.  My helper, the Holy Spirit is loud now.  I listen behind tears of pain, tears of confusion, and tears of submission.  “I am stubborn”, states the voice.  This is true.  I am and I know it.

I hear all types of things in this moment.  Surviving the brink of death or death itself and so I let the tears flow.  Passing through my workplace in a rolling chair, tears streaming down my face amidst the lunch rush, I look down at my foot away from the prying eyes.  “It is broken”, I say.  “I know”, the audible voice states to me and the flood gate of tears flow. We continue this audible, but silent conversation as the EMTs have a difficulty getting any reading on me.  The blood pressure machine will not read.  It keeps malfunctioning.  The needle to check my sugar levels breaks.  They fumble looking for another, they do not have one.  I believe even the thermometer failed a few times. Questions circulate around me as at least four of the five EMTs work to establish a preliminary finding of my situation.  The blood pressure machine finally registers as does the thermometer.  No luck for the needle.  My vitals are good.  They are actually excellent.  They would eventually get a sugar read in the ambulance, 146.

I am confused.  I am shaken.  I am at a loss for words.  I have been here before.  I have expressed hearing the voice of God before only to be mistaken as crazy.  What do I say?  How do I express this experience knowing what I know now?  I have been hospitalized and placed under psychiatric evaluation for telling my experience with the voice of God to others, before.  I did not understand it then, but my experiences with the voice of God and the presence of God have taught me to trust and recognize the voice and presence of God, better.

I have seen it in the preacher in Fort Worth a few months back after he side-swiped my vehicle from back to front.  As we stood exchanging information, he expressed his reason behind his distracted mind.  His wife recently had a nervous breakdown at work.  She also believed she was being followed on the streets, the freeways, well pretty much everywhere, all the time.  She attacked him, then called the police on him, and had a restraining order put on him.  He was on the way to pay the restitution bill when he side-swiped my vehicle.

While is a very long prophetic trance, I experienced this man’s story.  However, I did not understand it at the time.  To be honest, I really did not understand it until I revised this post.

I have seen it in the prophetic dream of a $150.00 check arriving at my mother’s house only to see the very same check arrive at my mother’s residence in the manner seen in the prophetic dream a few days earlier.

I have seen it in an urgent need to fall to my knees and pray for someone only to have them recount how they were in grave danger or fear at the exact moment the presence of God fell upon me.

I have heard a prophetic whisper say, “Let me look in my purse to see if I have $10 for my Angela”.  Only to have Angela come home and tell me this woman just gave her $10 after she said, “let me look in my purse and see…”  We were absolutely broke and concerned about how we would survive until payday.

I have seen it in a prophetic word coming forth saying someone needed to speak to me or see me and having that person reach out to me shortly thereafter.

I have seen it in billing errors or billing delays when my bank account was funny with not enough money and those automatic debits did not come through automatically.

I have seen it when in a prophetic trance I saw a dismissal of a court case, which would take two years to come to pass for the person.  In the prophetic trance, I was that person living out the experience.  I was able to help this person overcome their anxiety about the pending court case, because of this experience.  By then, my prophetic visions, the voice of God, and prophetic words were being confirmed all over the place.

I have seen it in a doctor’s report coming several days later, but delivered in the moment the person was talking about their pending results.  I find it interesting now, because I have many prophetic appearances with this particular person.

I have seen it in multiple church meetings at different churches and different times.  A prophetic word came forth and the speaker spoke on the exact word almost immediately.  I sat silent, but registered the confirmation internally.  It helped me come to turns with the power and move of God in my life.

I never spoke in or understood the gift of tongues or the usage of tongues.  Since the move of God in my life, I have experienced both including the interpretation of tongues.  About a month ago, I visited an old-church member’s new church.  The speaker spoke in tongues about being grateful God had decided to use him, his vessel, as a prophetic instrument in tongues.  The speaker’s speaking in tongues were out-of-order according to my understanding on the issue of speaking in tongues during a public forum.  I asked the Holy Spirit for a translation.  The translation fell upon me from the speaker’s next words as I saw his Spirit separate from his body.

I have seen it when I mistakenly misunderstood a prophetic word and told the leaders of my church I felt my mother was trying to kill me during my awakening.  Only to meet a woman a few weeks later who felt her mother was trying to kill her and her mother had actually stated she meant to have her dead at the same time I heard the word.

The natural mind cannot understand the spiritual mind of God, I would soon learn.  I stopped assuming personal identification with what I was hearing or seeing.  This helped bring normalcy back into my life.

I stopped talking about it all together.  I just sat back, watched, listened, and took mental note of revelations becoming actualizations in my everyday life.

I saw it most recently, when a friend of mine lost his wallet at work.  The thieves used his AMEX credit card to fill-up gas on four cars (including a Hummer) and his Wal-Mart card to buy $300 worth of merchandise.  A strong feeling of righteous indignation came over me as I listened to my gospel music later that evening and his face materialized before my eyes and floated across my vision from left to right.  I heard ‘vengeance is mine’ amidst the wind.  God would also show me which program the bad actors worked for within the company.  Four days later, those three responsible for the theft were walked out in handcuffs by the police from our place of employment.

When God’s Word began to manifest in my life, I knew just enough, and not nearly enough at the same time.  I am still learning how to move in the prophetic realm, but God has guided me along the way.  I even get angry sometimes about this role.  People do not understand you always.  Your words are twisted at times.  Your intentions are misunderstood and construed at other times.

However, he has saved me far too many times from deaths hands.  He has provided for me far too many times from the brink of poverty.  He has restored me far too many times to not know his voice, his ways, and his very presence.

Now back in the ER, over and over, “so how did it happen”, the attending staff asked. The Holy Spirit is still presently speaking to me on the hospital bed.

I tell the natural experience.  Here’s what I remember.  I felt pain in my side.  I forced myself to stand-up.  I felt like air gyrating around me and my ears swooshing or popping.  I closed my eyes.  I awoke on the floor with pain coming from my right foot.  This is the story I recount over and over to those with the ears, eyes, and mind unable to understand the supernatural version of my story.

I leave out my body was moved in a 45° angle from where the entire experience began.  It was as if, I had been propped up against the bathroom stall door, which is in the opposite direction of the wall I stood on prior to the fall.  No one was in the stall with me.  Even now, I continue to see my actual descending to the ground over and over again.  I cannot explain it and I cannot explain it away.

This is my story.  This is my experience.  This is beyond anything I could ever imagine or ever fully explain.

Yes, I believe the Holy Spirit lives in and the Holy Spirit lives with me.

Yes, I do.

Day 232 – Certification


8.20

Without my past, I would not be who God created me in this very moment.

 

 

Think about that.

 

 

Keep thinking…

 

You are not through yet…

 

 

Yep, still thinking…

 

 

You cannot help, but think just a little more…

 

Now, thank your past for helping you grow into your current self.

 

Then stride towards the future God created just for you with a single forethought, everything in your path would guide you into his perfect plan of certification.

 

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Day 230 – Are You Worrying Too Much?


8.18

 

I cannot recall a single incident when my worrying caused the mountain to move.

My prayers,

and yes,

my actions brought the mountain down, but never my worrying.

 

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Day 227 – Lord Use My Brokenness


8.15

 

Egg salad, scrambled eggs, eggs over easy, sunny-side up eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, and even deviled-eggs all underwent a breaking of shell.  Their externally cracking poured out their internal glory.

Welcome the cracking happening in your life today.  The internal glory is upon you.

 

 

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Day 222 – Holding on to Anger


8.10

Never act from anger, it is an unrealistic emotion.

It assumes the person’s intentions were pre-designed to inflict harm upon you.

Instead understanding the person’s motivation was simply to survive the test.

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Day 213 – My Truth: 


8.1

I am highly interested, extremely motivated, or overly obsessed with things that matter to me.  The other side to this truth is not everything matters to me

 

 

 

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Day 202 – A Word from God’s Angel


Better May

Words such as  the sweetest, the kindest, the greatest, the least are all human terms to define a particular disposition, but it is all temporary.

Be who God created you to be!

Dedicated to one of God’s greatest Angels, Maya Angelou!  We miss you.

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Day 201 – Forgive Me


Forgive Me

What if being holy isn’t just about being holy?

What if being myself really is being holy, even with all my mess?

What if my mess, makes me holy?

What is holy?

How do we define holy?

How do we live out holiness?

Jesus was holy.

Jesus became angry at times.

Jesus hung out with thugs.

Jesus never had a stable place to live.

Jesus never discussed the appropriate entire for worship.

Jesus simply directed all things to and in his Father’s name.

If we believe Jesus…

If we trust Jesus…

If we rely on Jesus…

If we follow Jesus…

His words, his teachings, his directions, his leadership…

We are holy, because he is holy.

The only one capable of tearing your holiness away from you, is you.

It begins in the mind.

It leads to the heart.

But, the power within, never fades, never leaves, and never forgets.

So, forgive me, I was myself, today.

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Day 200 – The Soul Experience


Into

The unseen becomes seen.

The unknown becomes known.

Having an experience changes you on the inside.

Living the experience changes you on the outside.

Being the experience changes not just you, but the people connected to you.

Change has come.

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Day 194 – Busy No More


Four Things

I used to be extremely busy.

Busy with work.

Busy with school.

Busy with church.

Busy with other people problems.

Busy with other people issues.

Busy with my own insecurities.

I used to be extremely busy.

Then, I woke up.

I am not busy anymore.

I just give myself away selectively, now.

Still productive, just not busy.