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I began the Holy Spirit Confession Moment series about nine months ago. Initially, I had the intention of running it for a consecutive six weeks. Almost immediately after completing the first’s week edition, my heart became heavy. My mind began to twirl and my soul began to rise up. I had no choice, but to set the series aside for a while.
1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, on the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the River Chebar, that the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God. (NKJV)
During the course of the next nine months, God continued to speak, the Holy Spirit continued to guide me into all truth and all knowledge. I listened through some rough times. I listened through some heart wrenching times. I listened and did my best to move myself out-of-the-way. My attempts were successful. I spent time listening, observing, and staying alert.
Then on August 15, 2014, my soul awoke and I experienced a new level in the understanding of God’s Holy Spirit as it relates to God’s omnipresence concerning my life’s journey.
Yet, I still could not fully release my gift to write openly. I posted old writings in an attempt to continue my goal of posting daily. Eventually, I stopped posting altogether, until now.
In order to open up my creative juices, I began looking for meditation materials. I found a series of audio books and listened to them faithfully for several weeks. I felt myself becoming more centered. I felt myself lifting up and lifting out. Yet, I still felt it was not time to write. However, the meditation materials helped. I began to enter what I can only call the third heaven regularly. I would fall into a deep almost trance like sleep. During these experiences, I would see faces of people I knew and people I did not know. At times, I would hear voices and full-blown conversations. At other times, it would just be a deep sense of peace. I would awake rejuvenated. I liked this renewed sense of peace feeling, settling in my life.
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with me on my throne, as I also overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (NKJV)
Last Tuesday around midnight, It was cold here in Dallas. I had just finished talking and having a cigarette with a good friend of mine when we each went our separate ways. Him headed home in the cold Fall weather colored by freezing rain and slick streets. However, I was not quite ready to go back inside. Thus, I went to my car for another cigarette before I returned to work surrounded by the heat flowing from my car vents.
Out of nowhere, a deep sense of impending danger fell over me. A name shifted through the atmosphere. It just so happens, it was the name shared by both my friend (from earlier) and my partner. Accompanied by the name were words. One word in particular sticks out in my memory now, accident. I attempted to wash it away. As I battled internally, the Holy Spirit spoke to my inner spirit while I listened to music and smoked my cigarette. I do not recall interceding outwardly. I simply smoked my cigarette and returned to work filled with an odd sense of foreboding.
Not too long after returning to work my friend sent me a text he was stuck in traffic due to the bridge being blocked by black ice a few counties from his home. Government road officials had been called out to clear the roads, but in the meantime, he and all the other anxious travelers would have to wait it out. Before we concluded our call, I asked him to text me when he arrived at home. The impending danger still sat in my heart. Concerned, I continued to work.
A few hours later, I felt unusually tired and sought the comfort of my car for some rest. I set my alarm to awake me at 5:00 am. As I slept, I entered into a trance sleep. I awoke to my car filled with smoke and the distinct smell of burning wood. I knew consciously my car was not on fire. I recall stating the same out loud as I drifted back to sleep. A few minutes later my partner called me, there was a fire in our apartment building. As I sat in my car, gathering the pertinent information, I thought upon the experience I had only moments ago. You know, “are you alright?” “Is it our apartment building?” “Is it our apartment?” As she confirmed, “Yes, I am alright”. “No, it is not our apartment building, but the apartment building next to us”. My spirit calmed inside. We spoke for a few minutes before we decided I needed to come home.
I calmly turned off the car and proceeded back upstairs to sign out for the rest of my shift. I sent an email notifying my manager and said goodbye to my co-worker. I returned to my car with a new sense of peace and awareness for the power of the Holy Spirit within. I picked up my cigarettes, pulled one out, located my lighter, and calmly pulled out of the parking garage. As, I drove home, I listened to the Holy Spirit. There was no panic. There was no sense of urgency. There was nothing, but a sense of acknowledgement for the God I love and the Holy Spirit within.
I arrived home about ten or fifteen minutes later to find seven to eleven fire trucks in and around our apartment complex. My partner had already informed me I would more than likely be unable to get close to our building due to the fire trucks. It still did not stop me from trying. In any regards, I eventually parked two buildings away and joined my partner in her car. We spoke about her experience. We spoke about how she had just recently fallen to sleep. We spoke about how I knew, because I had messaged her about thirty minutes before the fire started. We spoke about the normal things of life, including, she needed to go to the bathroom, but we had not been given the go ahead to re-enter our apartment, and about her shock at being woken by loud knocks upon the door in the wee hours of the morning.
Eventually, I approached our building and locked our door after surveying our intact apartment. I returned to the car still unable to share any of what I am writing now. How could I… I thought, I was still in the moment. We spent the rest of the morning with her mother as I sat in both peace and awareness. Once back at home with my partner asleep, I sat in my living room and read a book my mother had given me several years ago. I pulled the still cellophane wrapped book from under my center table. Pulling back the cellophane, I opened the book and began reading. It felt as if God himself was speaking to just me. I went to sleep in peace. When I awoke later that evening, I thought to myself, I will write this account down, I will tell this story, but not today.
At work that night, I spoke with my friend who discussed being stranded on the road earlier that morning. He spoke about the multiple accidents in front of him. One of the accidents included up to twenty-three cars. His car and life spared. As he spoke, I recalled the encounter with the Holy Spirit earlier that day and all that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. I smiled and I listened to my friend’s account of his eventful morning. When it was over, we entered the building and I promised him I would tell him all about the fire, but he would have to read it here, on my blog, once it had time to settle in my spirit, in my mind, and in my heart.
20 “From where then does wisdom come?
And where is the place of understanding?
21 It is hidden from the eyes of all living.
And concealed from the birds of the air.
22 Destruction and Death say,
“We have heard a report about it with our ears.”
23 God understands its way.
And He knows its place.
24 For He looks to the end of the earth.
And sees under the whole heavens,
25 To establish a weight for the wind.
And apportion the waters by measure.
26 When He made a law for the rain.
And a path for the thunderbolt.
27 Then He saw wisdom and declared it;
He prepared it, indeed, He searched it out.
28 And to man He said,
‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,
And to depart from evil is understanding.’ ”
I have only recounted my experience and my understanding, because it is all I have to offer. Normally, I would offer some form of conjecture, but it feels unnecessary and totally inadequate.
Stay blessed and know God is real.