Day 208: It’s Been Awhile – Lessons Learned


I haven’t posted here in a while. Here are a few things my higher power has allowed me to experience holistically since then:

  • There is life after tragedy strikes.
  • It really does get better.
  • Your perspective dictates your prospectus on life.
  • There is power in silence.
  • You can’t quantify loyalty and you shouldn’t try to.
  • The more you live, the more things change.
  • Principles are fixed, but friendships are not.
  • There is strength in commonality.
  • Truth is in the eye of the beholder.
  • Simple is better.
  • There is a lesson in every experience.
  • Sometimes there’s a full course.
  • People will surprise you.
  • And, you will surprise people.
  • Survival is a state of being.
  • Living is a state of mind.
  • Integrity is more important than loyalty.
  • Love the people who love you.
  • Take note of the people who don’t.
  • Distance isn’t always bad, and closeness isn’t always good.
  • Kindred spirits are real.
  • I think I’ve identified mine.
  • Saying I’m sorry, is more about you than the other person.
  • An apology means nothing if the action doesn’t change.
  • There are no bad experiences.
  • There are only inadequate responses to those “bad experiences”.
  • Pay attention to how people treat you.
  • No response is an answer.
  • Stop explaining.
  • They don’t care.
  • Wishing is good.
  • Striving is better.
  • Action is greater.
  • Success requires a combination of dedication, the right connections, and lots of luck.
  • You can forgive and still remember.
  • Premonitions are real.
  • Losing a job really isn’t a loss when it forces you to find a career.
  • Apologize for how you said it, but not for what you meant, when you said it.
  • Hugs have healing power.
  • Death can knock, but you don’t have to answer.
  • Listen to your heart.
  • Speak from your mind.
  • Love through your soul.
  • Laugh.
  • Cry.
  • Laugh some more.
  • Strength is about more than muscle.
  • The best is yet to come.
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“Day 208: It’s Been Awhile – Lessons Learned” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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Day 172: I Wish


Moment of truth:

There are some things I wish I didn’t know.

I wish I didn’t know, what pain felt like.

I wish I didn’t know, feelings changed.

I wish I didn’t know, where, healing occurs.

I wish I didn’t know, why, Judas betrayed Jesus.

I wish I didn’t know, when recovery started.

I wish I didn’t know, the truth, I have experienced.

I wish I didn’t know, so many things I now know.

I wish, became I did, because I didn’t meant I wouldn’t, and there is no other outcome, worthy of what I have.

No regret, the checkbox can now be marked received.

I wish is the child on the inside.

I am grateful is the woman holding her close.

Together we are whole.

Together we are bold.

With God we do not fold.

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Confession Moment #10: An Artist Heart with a Personal Dilemma


How do you balance a public profile being a private person? I’m writing while I’m thinking, because the subject often comes up, especially, as a blog writer.

Often the stories, poems, and prose are not even about me. But sometimes they are. Other times they are about parts of me or the people I see if that makes sense. Whatever the true subject or objective, the words used to express or describe are indeed mine. So, however, I dress it up, essentially, they are subjectively about something connected to me.

On a personal note, I keep everything close to the vest. I rarely disclose personal details about my life, my friends, my plans, or my family (directly). I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. If I do, then that means you’ve earned a level of trust somewhere in my mind and heart. A level that says similar to how I treat those who share their lives with me, you’re not going to go and shout what I say from the mountaintop. I cherish these relationships because they are difficult to find and hard to keep.

I’d liked to say this originated when I first heard the story of Zachariah in Bible school pre-adolescent, and subconsciously, it may have. However, I’m not convinced that’s true.

I’ve watched people over the years and in watching them, I’ve learned a great deal about boundaries. Everyone’s boundaries are different and I like to keep mine like a fortress at times, if not all the time. The problem I learned about living in a fortress is when you need help, it’s hard for help to find a way in. So the almighty and I struck a balance. He places people in my life I know I can trust and confirms their placement by their actions. It has been working thus far.

I’m sure I’ve been burned in the past, but that’s not what this is about. I am also an artist as I previously wrote earlier in this written dialogue currently happening in my head. And the craft of an artist is extremely public and often very personal. Whether the craft envelopes the artist’s personal challenges, triumphs, or something in between the content is almost always raw.

Thus my actual personal life, I like to keep personal and private. Not necessary a secret, but definitely private.

I had an encounter today with a friend girl of mine who innocently indirectly shared a personal component of my life on a public platform. She was only providing encouragement. Encouragement, I greatly appreciated. However, upon having a quick conversation she quickly understood and respected my wishes that I’d rather not have certain components of my life publicly discussed or commented on overtly. I am grateful for that and for her because others might have misinterpreted my call for discretion. And, turned a molehill into a mountain.

Said interaction brought me back to this confession moment. I regularly share my thoughts, experiences, and beliefs on an array of subjects on my blog and on my community Facebook page. I do so willingly and without reservation. Mainly, in hopes, it liberates someone secretly struggling with similar issues. If my transparency can save a life, provide hope, or simply let someone in the universe know they are not alone, then it’s worth it!

We live in a society where fear, shame, emotional distress, and emotional pain are bottled up until they blow up. So I write to let others know, they are indeed not alone, and most of what we battle are temporary distractions. If my public artist heart can save one soul then the open declarations are worth it every time.

Having said that, I was raised in the church. More specifically, I was raised in a church where every Sunday before communion the Pastor would call all those who had “sinned” during the week up to confess their sins one-by-one into the microphone, publicly, in accordance with our church doctrine before the entire church body. Sometimes these lines were ten to fifteen people deep. And, even after confessing their “sins”, they would each have to stand before the church before he prayed for them out loud about their specific “sin” before they were allowed to be seated.

This practice struck me as odd and invasive. Yet, for 18 years I watched the same people, week after week form a line down the right aisle waiting to be redeemed before as a church body, we could take communion. The practice troubled me, but it was tradition and it was not until years later I would experience something different, so I watched in silence week after week, month after month, and year after year until I was 18th and no longer required to attend church. Did my need for personal privacy stem from this, who knows? But, I do know I had my own silent struggles, I never felt comfortable sharing because of this practice and they followed me into adulthood.

So there was always an invisible shield on my internal thoughts for most of my life. I’m not saying I was muted but definitely guarded. And as luck would have it, for good reasons at times. So it’s rare and special when I really can be truly open on a personal level. I’m not harboring dark secrets. I just enjoy the sanctity of my personal life remaining personal.

Still seeking the right balance between publicly transparent and privately personal.

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Day 150: Romance Me


Who is she?
What does she like?
Who does she like?
What does she want?
When does she want it?
Where did she pivot?
Why did she evolve?
How would you know?

When was the last time you spent any time learning the answers?

Your relationship with self is a mirrored image of your relationship with God the universe.

If you rely on others to cultivate your worth, what happens when their view changes?

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“Day 150: Romance Me” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2018. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, AND IMAGES WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 335: Anchor


 

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What is an anchor?

Anchors are strong.

Anchors provide support.

Anchors hold vessels in place.

Anchors deliver content to the public.

Anchors can also prevent you from  moving when you need to move.

Anchors can become a hindrance.

Anchors left unsecured can cause you to unexpectantly drift off course.

Anchors reliant on others can distort the truth.

 

Anchors exert power in a team sport.

Anchors attract consumers in a retail structure.

Anchors are fixed similar to true North.

Placing the anchor in the wrong position can cost you the race.

Placing an anchor in quicksand can sink the ship.

 

What is my point?

For every use, there is a consequence for improper positioning.

You can have all the support, all the talent, and all the wherewithal in the world.

Yet, if you use an anchor out of position, you will sink instead of swim.

 

You do not place detergent in the water after all the dishes have been washed.

You do not paint the wall after all the pictures have been hung.

You do not prepare for the job after the candidates have been selected.

 

So often we hear people say, “I was in the right place at the right time”.

Conversely, they might say, “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time”.

In both of these statements, they were in a position to receive some obscure action or value.

 

Before I wrote my first sentence, I had to learn my first word.

Before I learned my first word, I had to be taught my alphabets.

Before I was taught my first alphabet, I had to learn how to talk.

 

Every development had an equally important precursor.

Without the first, there can be no latter.

 

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Day 273: The Nuts and Bolts of Relationships


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Relationships are like nuts and bolts.

Over screwing the bolt could strip the grooves beyond repair.

Use the wrong size nut and it will not fit.

Your use of force will make or break your relationship.

There are many degrees of force.

Emotional force.

Kinetic force.

Mental force.

Physical force.

Physiological force.

Silent force.

Levels and types of force are akin to the air we breathe.

If someone hands you a 5/16 bolt do not place a ¾ nut on it.

In turn, use the socket wrench when the increased power from a handheld drill, would warp the bolt.

The things meant to us may require work, but they rarely require force.

The definition of force indicates an exertion of power greater than required to achieve the desired goal.

Find the 5/16 nut in the basket of ¾ nuts and find your true pairing.

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The  “Day 273: The Nuts and Bolts of Relationships” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2016. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 229: People of Faith


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As people of Faith, we occasionally endure situations or people unnecessarily. I surmise we confuse longsuffering with the power of faith.

Jesus experienced longsuffering as he prepared the disciples to carry on his God News Message.

Yet, he cursed the stubborn fig tree refusing to bear fruit and suffered no more.

In both cases, neither were ready to produce. Neither had reached the time for return on investment.

Yet, the disciples were allowed to continue on so the message would be carried forth. The fig tree writhed up and died never to birth another fig.

Sometimes we have to condition our mind to understand some situations and some people unwilling to move must be left, because even though it is not their time, it is our time.

That’s why many are called, but few are chosen.

My experience shows the chosen rely mostly on Faith and less on timing.

Faith in understanding being called has more to do with being willing than being ready.

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Rejuvenation: The Power & Potential of a Young Mind


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I had an awesome, funny, and very telling conversation about the future of our society with my 14-year old nephew this evening. We were talking about the STAAR test he took this past Monday. He held strong opinions about the subject matter of his essay questions.

Him: They had stupid topics. It was just so frustrating.

Me: What were the topics?

Him: What is friendship? And, what is courage beyond courage?

Me: (Reserving all opinions based on my own experiences. He’s 14 and still learning these concepts.) Why are they stupid topics?

Him: “Because you have to be literal.” They don’t want you to be conceptual.

Me: (Laughing hysterically on the inside and outside, because he says what I am thinking. At 14, these concepts are so limited by age and experience.) So, what is friendship to you?

Him: Bonding and honesty. I mean, we were friends last year and we’re still friends. I play Xbox at your house sometimes and we have sleepovers.

Me: Well, at your age I imagine that is friendship. You will view it differently 15 years from now, but today, “that’s a great answer”.

Him: Why didn’t they ask about immigration or something? “That’s a real topic I could have written six paragraphs about.

Me: (So proud, he’s thinking! And, that’s more than I can say for a lot of adults.)

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Day 52: Powers Differences


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I cannot, does not mean I will not. Sometimes it just means – I know I should not.

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Day 8: Knowing Thy Power Helps in Destroying The Obstacles


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If my words are powerful enough to create, it bears to reason my words are just as powerful to destroy. Keep talking.

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Day 95 – The Real Meaning of Easter


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Belief in the Resurrection is one thing. Belief in the Power of the Holy Spirit is another. Believing they both served the same purpose is yet another. Living without seeking to understand the powerful combination they each hold in your life, is failure to understand the real meaning of Easter.

EYHCS

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Day 52: The Power Force of Understanding


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A great friend of mine commented yesterday about my absence from my blog of late, with a slightly dejected, solemn, and otherwise heartbroken-heartfelt disposition. I explained as best I could where I have been in my journey to speak and write the truth. I expressed my new found commitment to my craft. Some would call it a gift. Other would call it artistic expression. Whatever, it is, I respect it and have chosen this time to hone it. Because my friend’s need was real, I write this entry today.

This is for my powerful four! You each know exactly who you are and I love each of you beyond mere words. Your presence in my life has changed me forever and I look forward to all God has for each of us throughout the years.

This is also for those that follow my blog. I have a lot of material and when the time is right, I will share it all.

The road we travel is not unknown. The people we meet are not unforeseen. The connections we make are designed well in advance for the appointed time and place. Two years ago, we all imagine a different future than the one we find ourselves living today. Four years ago, we wondered how we would make it through. Six years ago, we prayed silently for relief. Eight years ago, we stood our ground in the God we love. Ten years ago, we wondered if this really would be the fate God dealt us.

Today, we are stronger. Today, we are wiser. Today, we are becoming exactly who God intended us to be. Today is a new day. Today is our day. Today let’s live it the only way we can…through love, by faith, and in humility.

EYHCS

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Day 37 – If You Seek ME, You Will Find ME


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I looked to the hills, but did not find you. I looked to the stars, but could not see you. I looked in the valleys, but could not hear you. I looked inside, but could not feel you. I cried out your name and you came from the hills, through the stars, from the valleys, and soared through me. Who are you?

EYHCS

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Day 14 – The Liver, The Kidney, The Heart, and The Brain: A Personal Ode to the Innards of My Life Force


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In a earlier post I discussed my new fascination with dirt and innards. In this post, I will focus on the true nature of innards.

Intro

Innards are at the core of all things organs. Organs support the life-cycle of all living creatures. Organs need access to oxygen through the body’s vascular system. The source of the oxygen stems from the nutrients contained within the blood flowing through each vascular nerve.

Tainted blood also taints the life-cycle of all organs the blood comes into contact with as it travels throughout the body. In some cases, a blood transfusion or organ transplant maybe required to replenish, repair, or replace organs damaged by tainted blood. Once an organ has met an attack it receive extra care for a minimal of six months to five years, if not for a lifetime.

The Liver, The Kidney, The Heart, and The Brain: A Personal Ode to the Innards of My Life Force

The most common organs under attack include the liver, the kidney, and the heart. Each of these organs is responsible for cleaning the body of waste in one form or another. The all-powerful heart controls the speed and amount of blood flowing to and fro every organ in a living creature. There are four main chambers to the heart and all work together to keep us alive.

We rarely give thought to how we condition our heart as we grab a Big Mac and large fries, chain smoke those two or three packs of cigarette in a day or so, or create havoc everywhere we go by the swords we throw in the direction of the unexpected receiver of our angst and anger. We rarely give a second thought to the organs pumping life into us each and every millisecond of our lives on Earth as we spend countless dollars on the new trend of the hour. We rarely stop or pause to check the state of our innards even though they call out for us . The sharp pain in our chest is waved off with a finger as we pick up the next greasy sandwich. Or, the stabbing needle in our side as we jump up too quick from bed, forget about praying or thanking someone for another day, we mutter as we headed out the door. All the mundane things can wait for when I have more time. Our innards calls continual go unanswered until we cannot move at all.

Oh, let’s not forget the banging in our heads as we scream at the people we love and curse out the people we profess to love, but not like. Yes, it is me, proclaims the brain. I matter too. Did you think I would forget the one who holds the secrets of the past, present, and future of our very soul? Never, my brain knows me better than I know myself. How much better would we be if we fed our brains knowledge, power, peace, understanding, love, and all the things sweet dreams are made of, instead of the hate and garbage of our tattered society?

Sure we complain about the state of our economy, the state of our marriages, the state of our personal net worth, the state of our financial net worth, the state of all things we have the ability to change, if we change the way we treat the innards of our life force. Successful people rarely complain about their circumstances, because they devise strategic action plans to change or work around the obstacles in their path to victory. Powerful people are often the silent ones moving behind the scene quietly moving bishops and pawns into action as the king reaps the benefits. Successful and powerful people watch their life cycle and life force through a steady diet of truth, honest, and nutritious living. They feed their livers water for the soul. They feed their kidneys proteins and fiber to promote the cleansing cycle of their earthly vessels. They feed their hearts love and exercise to strengthen the engine of their life force. They feed their brains with positive affirmations to bolster their minds for the challenges ahead. They feed their innards and so their innards feed them the best life has to offer. When their innards call it is to say thank you instead of a call for help.

If you are still battling imaginary enemies, if you are still battling a systematic wall of never enough, if you are still battling sickness of the mind, the heart, or the soul, ask yourself one serious, honest, and non-judgmental question. What are you feeding the innards of the only life force you have?

EYHCS

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HSCM Segment 4: Where there is smoke, there is fire


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I began the Holy Spirit Confession Moment series about nine months ago. Initially, I had the intention of running it for a consecutive six weeks.  Almost immediately after completing the first’s week edition, my heart became heavy. My mind began to twirl and my soul began to rise up. I had no choice, but to set the series aside for a while.

Ezekiel 1:1

 1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, on the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the River Chebar, that the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God. (NKJV)

During the course of the next nine months, God continued to speak, the Holy Spirit continued to guide me into all truth and all knowledge. I listened through some rough times. I listened through some heart wrenching times. I listened and did my best to move myself out-of-the-way. My attempts were successful. I spent time listening, observing, and staying alert.

Then on August 15, 2014, my soul awoke and I experienced a new level in the understanding of God’s Holy Spirit as it relates to God’s omnipresence concerning my life’s journey.

Yet, I still could not fully release my gift to write openly. I posted old writings in an attempt to continue my goal of posting daily. Eventually, I stopped posting altogether, until now.

In order to open up my creative juices, I began looking for meditation materials. I found a series of audio books and listened to them faithfully for several weeks. I felt myself becoming more centered. I felt myself lifting up and lifting out. Yet, I still felt it was not time to write. However, the meditation materials helped. I began to enter what I can only call the third heaven regularly. I would fall into a deep almost trance like sleep. During these experiences, I would see faces of people I knew and people I did not know. At times, I would hear voices and full-blown conversations. At other times, it would just be a deep sense of peace. I would awake rejuvenated. I liked this renewed sense of peace feeling, settling in my life.

Revelations 3:20-22

20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with me on my throne, as I also overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (NKJV)

Last Tuesday around midnight, It was cold here in Dallas. I had just finished talking and having a cigarette with a good friend of mine when we each went our separate ways. Him headed home in the cold Fall weather colored by freezing rain and slick streets. However, I was not quite ready to go back inside. Thus, I went to my car for another cigarette before I returned to work surrounded by the heat flowing from my car vents.

Out of nowhere, a deep sense of impending danger fell over me. A name shifted through the atmosphere. It just so happens, it was the name shared by both my friend (from earlier) and my partner. Accompanied by the name were words.  One word in particular sticks out in my memory now, accident.  I attempted to wash it away.  As I battled internally, the Holy Spirit spoke to my inner spirit while I listened to music and smoked my cigarette. I do not recall interceding outwardly. I simply smoked my cigarette and returned to work filled with an odd sense of foreboding.

Not too long after returning to work my friend sent me a text he was stuck in traffic due to the bridge being blocked by black ice a few counties from his home. Government road officials had been called out to clear the roads, but in the meantime, he and all the other anxious travelers would have to wait it out. Before we concluded our call, I asked him to text me when he arrived at home. The impending danger still sat in my heart. Concerned, I continued to work.

A few hours later, I felt unusually tired and sought the comfort of my car for some rest. I set my alarm to awake me at 5:00 am.  As I slept, I entered into a trance sleep. I awoke to my car filled with smoke and the distinct smell of burning wood. I knew consciously my car was not on fire. I recall stating the same out loud as I drifted back to sleep. A few minutes later my partner called me, there was a fire in our apartment building. As I sat in my car, gathering the pertinent information, I thought upon the experience I had only moments ago. You know, “are you alright?” “Is it our apartment building?” “Is it our apartment?” As she confirmed, “Yes, I am alright”. “No, it is not our apartment building, but the apartment building next to us”. My spirit calmed inside. We spoke for a few minutes before we decided I needed to come home.

I calmly turned off the car and proceeded back upstairs to sign out for the rest of my shift. I sent an email notifying my manager and said goodbye to my co-worker. I returned to my car with a new sense of peace and awareness for the power of the Holy Spirit within. I picked up my cigarettes, pulled one out, located my lighter, and calmly pulled out of the parking garage. As, I drove home, I listened to the Holy Spirit. There was no panic. There was no sense of urgency. There was nothing, but a sense of acknowledgement for the God I love and the Holy Spirit within.

I arrived home about ten or fifteen minutes later to find seven to eleven fire trucks in and around our apartment complex. My partner had already informed me I would more than likely be unable to get close to our building due to the fire trucks. It still did not stop me from trying. In any regards, I eventually parked two buildings away and joined my partner in her car. We spoke about her experience.  We spoke about how she had just recently fallen to sleep. We spoke about how I knew, because I had messaged her about thirty minutes before the fire started. We spoke about the normal things of life, including, she needed to go to the bathroom, but we had not been given the go ahead to re-enter our apartment, and about her shock at being woken by loud knocks upon the door in the wee hours of the morning.

Eventually, I approached our building and locked our door after surveying our intact apartment. I returned to the car still unable to share any of what I am writing now. How could I… I thought, I was still in the moment. We spent the rest of the morning with her mother as I sat in both peace and awareness. Once back at home with my partner asleep, I sat in my living room and read a book my mother had given me several years ago. I pulled the still cellophane wrapped book from under my center table. Pulling back the cellophane, I opened the book and began reading. It felt as if God himself was speaking to just me. I went to sleep in peace. When I awoke later that evening, I thought to myself, I will write this account down, I will tell this story, but not today.

At work that night, I spoke with my friend who discussed being stranded on the road earlier that morning. He spoke about the multiple accidents in front of him. One of the accidents included up to twenty-three cars. His car and life spared. As he spoke, I recalled the encounter with the Holy Spirit earlier that day and all that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. I smiled and I listened to my friend’s account of his eventful morning. When it was over, we entered the building and I promised him I would tell him all about the fire, but he would have to read it here, on my blog, once it had time to settle in my spirit, in my mind, and in my heart.

Job 28:20-28

20 “From where then does wisdom come?

And where is the place of understanding?

21 It is hidden from the eyes of all living.

And concealed from the birds of the air.

22 Destruction and Death say,

“We have heard a report about it with our ears.”

23 God understands its way.

And He knows its place.

24 For He looks to the end of the earth.

And sees under the whole heavens,

25 To establish a weight for the wind.

And apportion the waters by measure.

26 When He made a law for the rain.

And a path for the thunderbolt.

27 Then He saw wisdom and declared it;

He prepared it, indeed, He searched it out.

28 And to man He said,

‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,

And to depart from evil is understanding.’ ”

(NKJV)

I have only recounted my experience and my understanding, because it is all I have to offer. Normally, I would offer some form of conjecture, but it feels unnecessary and totally inadequate.

Stay blessed and know God is real.