Confession Moment #10: An Artist Heart with a Personal Dilemma


How do you balance a public profile being a private person? I’m writing while I’m thinking, because the subject often comes up, especially, as a blog writer.

Often the stories, poems, and prose are not even about me. But sometimes they are. Other times they are about parts of me or the people I see if that makes sense. Whatever the true subject or objective, the words used to express or describe are indeed mine. So, however, I dress it up, essentially, they are subjectively about something connected to me.

On a personal note, I keep everything close to the vest. I rarely disclose personal details about my life, my friends, my plans, or my family (directly). I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. If I do, then that means you’ve earned a level of trust somewhere in my mind and heart. A level that says similar to how I treat those who share their lives with me, you’re not going to go and shout what I say from the mountaintop. I cherish these relationships because they are difficult to find and hard to keep.

I’d liked to say this originated when I first heard the story of Zachariah in Bible school pre-adolescent, and subconsciously, it may have. However, I’m not convinced that’s true.

I’ve watched people over the years and in watching them, I’ve learned a great deal about boundaries. Everyone’s boundaries are different and I like to keep mine like a fortress at times, if not all the time. The problem I learned about living in a fortress is when you need help, it’s hard for help to find a way in. So the almighty and I struck a balance. He places people in my life I know I can trust and confirms their placement by their actions. It has been working thus far.

I’m sure I’ve been burned in the past, but that’s not what this is about. I am also an artist as I previously wrote earlier in this written dialogue currently happening in my head. And the craft of an artist is extremely public and often very personal. Whether the craft envelopes the artist’s personal challenges, triumphs, or something in between the content is almost always raw.

Thus my actual personal life, I like to keep personal and private. Not necessary a secret, but definitely private.

I had an encounter today with a friend girl of mine who innocently indirectly shared a personal component of my life on a public platform. She was only providing encouragement. Encouragement, I greatly appreciated. However, upon having a quick conversation she quickly understood and respected my wishes that I’d rather not have certain components of my life publicly discussed or commented on overtly. I am grateful for that and for her because others might have misinterpreted my call for discretion. And, turned a molehill into a mountain.

Said interaction brought me back to this confession moment. I regularly share my thoughts, experiences, and beliefs on an array of subjects on my blog and on my community Facebook page. I do so willingly and without reservation. Mainly, in hopes, it liberates someone secretly struggling with similar issues. If my transparency can save a life, provide hope, or simply let someone in the universe know they are not alone, then it’s worth it!

We live in a society where fear, shame, emotional distress, and emotional pain are bottled up until they blow up. So I write to let others know, they are indeed not alone, and most of what we battle are temporary distractions. If my public artist heart can save one soul then the open declarations are worth it every time.

Having said that, I was raised in the church. More specifically, I was raised in a church where every Sunday before communion the Pastor would call all those who had “sinned” during the week up to confess their sins one-by-one into the microphone, publicly, in accordance with our church doctrine before the entire church body. Sometimes these lines were ten to fifteen people deep. And, even after confessing their “sins”, they would each have to stand before the church before he prayed for them out loud about their specific “sin” before they were allowed to be seated.

This practice struck me as odd and invasive. Yet, for 18 years I watched the same people, week after week form a line down the right aisle waiting to be redeemed before as a church body, we could take communion. The practice troubled me, but it was tradition and it was not until years later I would experience something different, so I watched in silence week after week, month after month, and year after year until I was 18th and no longer required to attend church. Did my need for personal privacy stem from this, who knows? But, I do know I had my own silent struggles, I never felt comfortable sharing because of this practice and they followed me into adulthood.

So there was always an invisible shield on my internal thoughts for most of my life. I’m not saying I was muted but definitely guarded. And as luck would have it, for good reasons at times. So it’s rare and special when I really can be truly open on a personal level. I’m not harboring dark secrets. I just enjoy the sanctity of my personal life remaining personal.

Still seeking the right balance between publicly transparent and privately personal.

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“Confession Moment #10: An Artist Heart with a Personal Dilemma” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2018. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, AND IMAGES WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

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Daily Prompt: The Patron Saint of Truth


Daily Prompt: A True Saint

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The Challenge: In 300 years, if you were to be named the patron saint of X, what would you like X to be? Places, activities, objects — all are fair game.

 

The Delivery:

The year is 2315. The day began like every day since 2215. The clock chimed. The birds chirped. The voices below sounded off one-by-one. Today is. The expected high temperature is. The precipitation is. There will be no further interactions between citizens and officials until quarantine has been lifted. Please remember to wear your masks of truth, your badges of honor, your crests of hope, and your shields of purpose. The official announcement of the day is over. Please begin your day as you normally would. And, remember we have our installation of the Patron Saint of Truth at noon. The festivities can be viewed remotely via direct stream or through your unembedded mobile devices. We look forward to seeing you there.

… (Noon the same day)…

As humans, we are constantly trying to live up to the promise of our ancestors.  Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes we fall short. In both cases, the underlining goal is to always remember our ancestors knew less than us, but gave more than us, just as we are expected to do for the next generation. We are to uphold our virtues so we honor their struggles, their advancements in science, their innovations in technology, and their successes in destroying the unrestrained pride genome deeply rooted in our culture for centuries.

Today marks a hundred years since EYHCS discovered the RNA molecules completing the genome for pride. EYHCS was known for stating, “At the brink of war the cellular composition just materialized as if an unseen force revealed it all before her eyes”. She refused to accept credit for the discovery. In fact, to this day if asked, she simply states, “it was divine intervention”. No one has ever been able to disprove her assertion, so it stands.

Now, as we install EYHCS as the Patron Saint of Truth, we revisit the words she delivered to the council 100 years ago today, ending the internal war of pride vs. greed.

“Council I have just left my lab. I did not even lock the door out of fear my delay could offset the tenuous balance between word vs. deed. I was hard at work looking for the final gene to break the code on pride. We have all watched our society’s infrastructure slowly fall into decomposition from the internal war of pride, grandstanding, and false goodwill. I made a promise to the creator to never fall into the trap. I ate from the leftovers of the citizens. I drink from the rivers of the Earth. I watched our citizens turn on each other. I watched our society crumb, but we never died. I turned down the politicians’ gifts of expensive jewels, five star dinners, and lavish vacations on the greatest beaches of this Earth. It was all a guise for me to stop my research. I refused. I knew as a society we could overcome the darkness settling in our community. Late this morning out of pure exhaustion I feel asleep in my lab while looking through a microscope. Awoken be a loud crash, there it was. The genome for pride loomed in midair. I quickly transcribed the data. I checked and rechecked the outcomes. I verified the genes, cells, and molecules composition. And confirmed, our divine creator had revealed the one thing, so many people had sought to hide in an effort to propagate a never-ending war. My lab assistants and I confirmed the data is real. No longer will we eat our own. No longer will we kill our own metaphysically or physically in hopes of advancing our own agendas. No longer will a dubious “I” usurp the collective. We have unmasked the secret to restore our ancestors’ original vision for our people. Going forward, we live by our words and our actions will affirm our truth on a single value: “first do no harm”.

And so, great citizens of this new utopia, we install EYHCS as the Patron Saint of Truth. EYHCS, refused to allow pride to win no matter the compensation thrown her way. Remember great citizens of the Earth, “Some things are not for sale”.

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“Daily Prompt: The Patron Saint of Truth” by EYHCS (D. Boyland) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

 

 

Day 94 – Daily Thoughts: Teams


Daily Thought - Teams - Blog Edition

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The  ”Day 94 – Daily Thoughts: Teams” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2015. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Voter Lookup: Don’t Be Fooled At the Election Booth


I took a backseat and only spoke to my friends and colleagues about why voting is so important.  This year is different. I received a surprise at the early elections last Monday.  I am normally an avid watcher of Presidential elections, but sometimes allow midterm elections to go by without a second glance, since the highly contested elections of 2008.  No longer standing in long lines, no longer spending countless nights at the polling offices, no longer rallying the troops to get out the vote, and no longer spending my time and energy on convincing the masses their votes really do count.

We have a choice between a Governor who will keep us in the dark ages or a choice between a return to the days of Ann Richards, where minorities actually had a voice in Texas.  We have a choice where minorities actually matter.  We have a choice where, our vote and our voices really can change the trajectory of our state.

Without pinpointing a specific candidate, vote for a candidate this week while early voting is still going on or next Tuesday, November 4, 2014, whose values, principles, and history in political office closely aligns to a future you want to see manifest in your local area.  Whatever you do, VOTE!

The voting tool below can help you find early voting locations or your polling location on voting day.  Please remember, this year you must have both your photo identification card and your voter’s id card to cast your ballot.  Give a big thanks to the political party of the dark ages, for that one!

To read more about my experience at the voting booth click the link here:  https://eyhcs2010.com/2014/10/25/confession-moment-9-the-audacity-of-public-officials/

Day 273 – Meditation Series: Royal Omelet


The Royal Omelet meditation is the last addition to the meditation series began during the summer and fall of 2010. Have no fear, I have no intention of stopping this series as God breathes new life into my writer’s heart.  Enjoy!

Believer

 

Living a life destined for greatness is comparable to holding a newborn baby for the very first time and looking into their eyes.  In both, possibilities exist.  There is a potential for endless opportunities.  There are visions of future manifestations, which are shimmering toward the brim of a joyous reality as it reaches its zenith.   Yet, the path to achievement is hidden by the trials of fit for duty.  Seeing a cracked egg and envisioning a royal omelet requires innovation and a chef’s touch.  Meet my chief chef, father God.  I once was all yoke and today, I rest upon the king’s plate a truffle crusted royal omelet.

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The  ”Day 273 – Meditation Series: Royal Omelet” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 271 – Meditation Series: Compromise


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We walk through life striving to compromise for the sake of peace.  Somehow in the process we lose a piece of ourselves.  Someone recently asked, what is the difference between a compromise and self-devaluation.  My response spiritually inspired:  Compromise is altering one’s preference to accommodate another.  Self-devaluation is allowing another to violate your fence to keep up the neighborhood connection.

Have you allowed someone to infringe upon your property rights?  If so, make a plan to recover what should not have been given or taken?

 

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The  ”Day 271 – Meditation Series: Compromise” (text) by EYHCS published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

©EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Confession Moment #8: A Post Like No Other – My Heart is Heavy


My heart is heavy, today.  I initially wanted to write my typical reflective thought post generated  by a beautiful photo I plucked from Indulgy.  I wanted to deliver solace for my own troubled soul.  I wanted to write a post for the brokenness I see in the world spewed across the news channels everyday.  I wanted to write a post for the deceitful intentions of others, I have experienced in my very short life on this Earth.  I wanted to write a post for the pain of all those who suffer in silence daily, as I have in the past and to let them know it really does get better.

I wanted to write a post for everyone dealing with the realization we live in a society where children go hungry daily while society blames their parents for living below the poverty line; where we can send several groups of soldiers to war, but cannot raise the minimum wage to a living wage; where politician grow richer and the poor grow poorer; where families are being destroyed for foolish reasons or stupid decisions; where color-focused police officers pull single black mothers out of their car  in the dark hours of the night with their terrified children in tow, because, after all, we all look alike, even when we do not; where Latinos are being excluded from the all-inclusive America, because they were born on the wrong side of the border; where every few decades we find ourselves fighting another civil rights battle (Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Polish, Indians, African Americans (Blacks), Hispanics, gays, lesbians, bi-sexual, transgender); where the uneducated are marginalized even more than their ancestors were, creating a circular system of poverty (slaves, migrant workers, working class); where the educated are becoming the new poverty class (student loan debt) and unable to find those jobs promised to them as they continually signed their life away each semester; where the total breakdown of our society seems to go unnoticed by far too many people; where another black dead face on the news at the hands of an official or frighten civilian is no longer news, but a sad expectation for other black faces; where we speak of Jesus and then act as Barnabas; where we spend more time on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or Twitter than contemplating our civic duties as Americans of these Great United States; where our minds are so convoluted the truth is difficult to ascertain even when faced with the hard reality we got it all wrong; where I am so disgusted with the placating mindset of our society, I could not write one of those truly colorful, thought provoking, rosy, or uber-spiritual post, even if my God would allow it.

I really wanted to write that post today.  I wanted to write that post, because at my core, my God created me to speak, enlighten, encourage, provide solace, and live out his life on Earth as he prescribed long before land separated from water.  God knows I wanted to write such a post today.  God knows if I were not so utterly disgusted with a Godly people acting so ungodly, I could have written such a post.  It hurts my heart to write so brutally today.  For those who know me, have known me, who will know me, who have experienced my friendship, my warm smile, or my laughter will understand more than anyone else how much this post pains me.  It pains me, because it requires I step out of my overly optimistic worldview and into the world I see, today.

While this particular post is darker in nature than anything I have ever written for the public eye, it is the Truth I see.  I am simply tired of seeing the same stories, conversations, and total lack of concern for our fellow man, woman, and child.  My writing is therapeutic and the writer in me would not remain silent.   It helps me prepare to run the race another day. After so much needed time with God after work this morning, he reminded me of the journey God has taken me on, specifically over the last four or five years.  I am grateful for the new eyesight.  I am grateful for the silent prayers you sent my way.  I am grateful for the helping hand you offered even when I was too raw to receive it.  I am eternally grateful, because on my balcony this morning, God showed me, “he really does know the plan he has prepared for me and his plan is perfect, his plan is not meant to harm me, his plan is meant to rise up a nation of people brave enough to write such a post their former self would have never written, out of fear of exposure”.

For those of you in the battle of your life, remember, rather you believe in God or not, someone or something kept you from the fate your choices or actions should have brought death upon you, instead of life.

Be kind to each other, we never know when the person we throw stones at might be the same person God sent to help you out of a situation you had no business being in, in the first place.  Be kind to each other, because we do live in a country rich in history of people fighting for one another across all lines.  Be kind to each other, because someone was kind to you when you least deserved it.  Be kind to each other, because no matter how much money and power you have today, it could all be gone tomorrow, and what would you have, but each other.  Simply be kind to each other.

I close this confession moment with a poem I wrote during my stint in Beijing, China on 2011/07/30.

A Moment of Reflection

A period of redirection

Living in a world of change

Living on an unknown range

I felt a close hand on my shoulder

I felt my spirit grow older

Wishing for a human caress

Wishing for God to give me rest

A journey revived

A path of hope against the divide

I knew the story would end

I knew my fate would end

Yet to walk in your shoes of love

The answer must come from above.

I walked out of captivity with arms stretched out wide

The sky opened up as heaven’s charms rolled down to shower me in its tide

Thank you for a word from the wise

Knowing you saw through the lies.

The beauty of your broke through

The enigma making my reality true.

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The  ”Confession Moment #8: A Post Like No Other – My Heart is Heavy ” (text) by EYHCS is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at Indulgy.com (image only).
©EYHCS AND The Latest Word, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, IMAGES THAT ARE THE COURTESY OF INDULGY.COM WITHIN POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND 15 WORDS OR LESS WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

Day 254 – Karma


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Be kind to everyone you meet.

The beggar today may be your boss tomorrow.

The prostitute today may be your wife tomorrow.

The sinner today may be your spiritual leader tomorrow.

The bastard child today may be your President tomorrow.

Karma never loses an address.

Our actions today replicate in our future, tomorrow.

 

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THE  ”Day 254 – Karma” (TEXT) BY EYHCS IS UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION-NONCOMMERCIAL-SHAREALIKE 4.0 INTERNATIONAL LICENSE.
BASED ON A WORK AT INDULGY.COM (IMAGE ONLY).
© EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD, 2010-2014. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUTUBE VIDEOS, PAPERS, AND OTHER ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS, LINKS, AND IMAGES  UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED ARE AVAILABLE FOR USE, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO EYHCS AND THE LATEST WORD WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.
 
 

Day 69 – Purposeful Movement


Forgot

Find the missing pieces of _________ story.

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The  ”Day 69 – Purposeful Movement” (text) by EYHCS is under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at Indulgy.com (image only).
© EYHCS and the Latest Word, 2010-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including, but not limited to YouTube videos, papers, and other original works of art without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts, links, and images  unless otherwise stated are available for use, provided that full and clear credit is given to EYHCS and the Latest Word with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.